


All You Had To Do Was Stay

by Arcadia_Foster



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-04-16 15:09:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 35,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4629906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arcadia_Foster/pseuds/Arcadia_Foster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>People like you always want back the love they gave away,<br/>and people like me wanna believe you when you say you’ve changed.<br/>The more I think about it now the less I know.<br/>All I know is that you drove us off the road.</p><p>All you had to do was stay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. *AUTHORS NOTE*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new edition will be posted soon

This story is currently undergoing extensive editing and any input would be much appreciated. Is there a scene you feel is unnessecary for the story or something that needs further explanation? Is there another facet of these characters lives that you wish was included? Please feel free to let me know.

If you would be interested in helping with editing please contact me as I am looking for people to join on a GoogleDoc to edit this work.

<3 Arcadia


	2. ~WINTER 2012~

The airport is a sea of people and among the crowd waiting at the arrivals gate; a short, athletic brunette stands bouncing on the balls of her feet. She draws little attention from the people around her as she waits for four passengers to arrive. At 19 years old, if asked, Amelia Baker would describe herself as plain. She’s 5 feet tall, dressed in dark skinny jeans, white Chuck Taylors, and a navy blue knitted sweater. Her shoulder-length dark brunette hair is pulled back from her face in a single plait.

As passengers start to flow through the arrival gate she stands up on the tips of her toes to look over the heads of the people in front of her. When she sees them she pushes past the middle-aged couple in front of her and rushes forward.

The group consists of three men and a woman, all in their late teens or early twenties and with the same athletic build as the brunette waiting for them.

The only woman in the arriving group is the first to notice Amelia. Her name is Elizabeth Carter and at 20, she’s taller than her friend, around 5 foot 7. She has long blonde hair which she wears pulled back in a simple ponytail and despite having spent the last 23 hours on a plane she still manages to radiate beauty as she smiles at Amelia. She’s holding hands with one of the men of the group. He has a kind face, sandy brown hair and like his girlfriend, Justin is also 20 years old.

The final members of the group are both 18 and stand at a little over 6 feet tall. The taller of the two is Amelia’s best friend, Scott Miller who wears his dark, almost black hair in a close-cropped shave and the boy walking beside him is Elizabeth’s brother. He is also wearing his chocolate brown hair in a close-cropped shave.

While she smiles warmly at all of them, Amelia’s attention is reserved for the second boy who is laughing warmly with Scott as his eyes scan the waiting crowd.

When his eyes fall on Amelia, his face lights up and he passes his luggage to Scott before running towards her.

When they finally reach each other, he pulls her into a sweeping hug and kisses her deeply.

“I missed you so much Tyler,” she whispers when they finally pull apart for breath,

“I missed you too Mia,” Tyler sighs as he rests his forehead against Amelia’s.

There reunion is drawn short when a raised voice reaches them.

“Oi, lovebirds!” Scott yells, “Let’s get a move on!”

Tyler chuckles before pulling his gaze away from Amelia to look towards his friend.

“Shut it, Scotty!” he calls back as he takes Mia’s hand, leading her and the rest of the group through the crowd, towards the carpark.

xXx

Two hours later, after having dropped everyone at their houses, Amelia pulls the car into a parking spot in downtown Adelaide.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” she asks Tyler as she turns off the car and they both climb out.

“I’m taking you out for dinner,” Tyler replies, taking her hand in his and leading her down the footpath.

“Aren’t you tired? You’ve been travelling for hours. I don’t mind if we just go home.”

Tyler simply shakes his head with a smile as he holds open the door. They both walk inside and Amelia turns to look back at her boyfriend suspiciously.

“We are very underdressed for a place like this,” she states as she takes in Tyler’s loose fitting jeans and hoody.

“Don’t worry about,” Tyler replies and places a kiss to her temple as the maître d’ approaches.

“Hello, welcome to Georges on Waymouth, how can I be of service to you tonight?” she asks politely.

“Hi,” Tyler replies, “We have a reservation for two under Carter.”

The maître d’ looks at her bookings on the screen in front of her before she looks back at the young couple.

“Very well Mr and Mrs Carter. If you would like to follow me I’ll show you to your table.”

They follow her through the restaurant and Mia chuckles quietly under her breathe.

“She called us Mr and Mrs Carter,” she laughs, just loud enough for Tyler to hear.

Tyler laughs softly in reply and playfully elbows Mia in the side as they are shown into a private dining room with a single table set for two. The room is softly lit with candle light and music plays softly in the back ground. Amelia gives Tyler a questioning look as he holds out her chair and then takes his own. The maître d’ leaves the room and a waiter enters shortly after with menus and a bottle of champagne.

Once the waiter has left Amelia looks at the menu and then back up at Tyler.

“How on earth can you afford this place Ty?” she asks quietly.

“Come on Mia,” Tyler chuckles, “I literally just got off the plane back from the Olympics. I think I can afford to spoil my girlfriend.”

Amelia nods with a warm smile.

“Have I told you how proud I am of you?” she asks, “of all of you?”

“Yeah, only a few times,” Tyler laughs, “but it’s always nice to hear.”

“It must have been so amazing over there,” Mia continues, “I spent every night watching the TV just feeling like it was a dream. My housemates thought I was crazy with all the screaming I did at the TV.”

“I can imagine,” Tyler replies with a knowing smile that crinkles the corners of his eyes.

“I was crying when Lizzie took out the bronze medal, and then again when Justin and the boys got the silver medal,” Mia admits.

“So was I,” Tyler agrees as the waiter returns to take their orders.

The food is wonderful and Mia feels happier than she has since she waved them off at the airport weeks ago. The conversation is comfortable and both of them are happy just to be together again after time apart.

As they finish dessert and their plates are cleaned away, Tyler clears his throat.

“Amelia, there’s another reason why I brought you out to dinner tonight,” he begins. “I just want you to know how much you mean to me. I know we’ve been through a lot in recent months and I want you to know that I love you more than anything.”

“Ty, I know,” Amelia replies gently, “I don’t blame you for the break up. You know that. We just went through a rough patch and we both said and did things we regret. It’s ok. We’re back together now and I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to take me out to fancy restaurants to make it up to me because there’s nothing apologize for.”

“It’s not just that,” Tyler replies, “it’s everything. You’ve been my best friend for over a decade now and my girlfriend for 4 of those. I’ve had to experience my life without you and never want to go through that again. I love you more anything Mia and there’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for you.”

At this moment he stands from his seat and walks around the table, holding out his hand for Mia to take, he pulls her up to her feet. When she’s standing in front of him looking confused, he reaches into his pocket and as he pulls out a small velvet box, he drops to one knee and looks up at her as he holds her hands. She gently pulls one hand from his and places it over her mouth as she stares back at him in shock.

“We have been through so much together and while I’m greatful for every day I’ve been allowed to be a part of your life, I want so many more. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Amelia Rose Baker. I want to wake up every day and see your face and I want to grow old with you and raise a family with you. I know you don’t believe in fate or destiny but I know in my heart that you are my soulmate and that we were meant to meet all those years ago. Will you do me the honour, Mia, of allowing me to become your husband?”

“Yes! God yes,” Mia cries. “I love you too, Ty. I love you so much.”

Tyler smiles up at her as he slips the ring onto her hand and then stands to pull her towards him. As they kiss, Mia’s heart feels like it will burst and her eyes begin to cloud with tears. When they pull apart Tyler kisses away the few tears that have begun to slide down her cheeks and then pulls her into a hug. They both stand there, safe in each other’s arms and Mia thinks of all they’ve been through together over the years.

She remembers meeting Tyler and Scott when she was 9 years old. She remembers the years of friendship they’ve had since then. The school holidays they spent at each other’s houses and the hours they would spend talking on the phone and online.

She remembers the night at the movies when they were 15 that had felt just like every other night she’d spent with him except Scott wasn’t there, which was weird because Scott was always there. She laughs at the memory of realising it had been a date when Tyler had tried to kiss her after the movie and then calling Scott and confessing to him _‘I think Tyler is trying to date me!’_

And then last year when she’d called him in tears to tell him she was sick. She’d barely been able to speak through the tears but somehow she’d managed to get the word Cancer past her lips. He’d shown up on her doorstep 7 hours later and she knew he must have broken the speed limit the whole way from his house to hers.

She remembers her hand in his through every chemotherapy treatment over the following 6 months and flying to Adelaide to surprise him with the news of her remission.

And then the proud look on Tyler’s face as he watched her cross the stage at her high school graduation.

No matter how hard she tries, she can’t forget the fight they had a month later when she’d chosen a local university instead of one closer to Tyler. She’ll never forget the tears and the sound of them both screaming when she told him to leave, will never forget the slam of the door when he did. She’ll always wear the scars of the two months they spent apart, and how lonely it was to be living in a new city on her own, without him.

But as she stands there holding him tightly she smiles at the memory of their reunion and then the joy when he was selected for the Olympic team a few months later and now here they are, engaged.

She pulls back from the hug and stares at the ring, her eyes still damp with tears of joy.

xXx

“Our parents are going to freak out,” Mia whispers, looking up at Tyler’s face from where her head is resting on his bare shoulder. They’d left the restaurant a few hours earlier and were now curled up in bed. The house was quiet around them as they held each other in the darkness.

“Your dad already knows,” Tyler replies quietly, “I asked his permission before I flew out for London last month.”

“Really?” Mia asks in shock, “Thank you so much, it’s crazy that my sister only just got married and now I’m engaged.”

“I knew how much your dad’s blessing would mean to you,” he admits, “and I know what you mean. It’s kind of strange to think of Jess being married.”

“Tell me about it,” Mia chuckles, “But Dylan’s a great guy, and he’s a pretty cool brother-in-law.”

Tyler agrees with a content hum as he places kisses to the top of Mia’s head.

“Pressure’s on Matt now,” Tyler chuckles softly, “He’s the last of the Baker clan.”

“Oh God, no. My brother will not be getting married anytime soon,” Mia replies with a shudder, “You’ve met the bimbo he’s dating. She’s a fucking nightmare.”

Tyler chuckles again and then they both lie quietly in the dark for a while.

“My grandma’s gonna lose her mind,” Hayley states absently.

xXx

When Mia wakes up in the morning she finds that Tyler is already awake.

“Morning,” she yawns sleepily as she curls against his chest.

“Good morning beautiful,” he replies and follows with a kiss. As Mia pulls away from the kiss she catches a glimpse of the clock and groans.

“We should get up,” she mumbles, “Your mum will have Sunday Brunch on the table soon.”

They both climb out of the bed and dress before heading downstairs to where everyone is gathering in the dining room. Tyler’s father is the first to notice their entrance, he’s of a similar height to his son and his hair is greying. He’s a larger man, who Mia always describes as jolly. When he smiles, his face creases with laughter lines that etch his face and he greets them affectionately.

“Good morning Mia, Morning Son.”

“Good morning Glenn,” Mia replies with a smile.

“Good to see you again Dad,” Tyler says as he hugs his father.

“You too son,” Glenn replies before he’s interrupted by a voice calling from the kitchen.

“Is that my baby boy I hear?” the woman yells.

“Mum,” Tyler groans good-naturedly, “Someday you are gonna have to stop calling me that.”

“Never gonna happen sweetheart,” his mother laughs as she walks into the room carrying a large stack of pancakes. She places them on the table, alongside the rest of the food and pulls Tyler into a hug. She’s shorter than her son and unlike her husband she’s thin with long brunette hair. When they pull apart, she hugs Mia as well.

“Good morning honey,” she says as she releases the younger woman.

“Good morning Helen,” Mia replies, “Anything I can help with?”

“Oh no hon, just pull up a chair and dig in before gets cold,” Helen replies in a mothering way before she turns and heads back to the kitchen. Everyone else is already sitting at the table loading up their plates so Tyler and Mia quickly take the two seats that had been left empty for them.

“Morning Nate,” Mia greets as she sits down beside a man a few years older than Tyler.

“Morning Mia,” he smiles in return and then leans forward to look past her to where Tyler has taken up the seat on her other side of her. “Morning little bro, welcome home.”

“Hey Nate, good to see you too,” Tyler replies as he loads his plate with bacon, eggs and waffles.

Mia smiles lovingly as she looks across the table to where Liz and Justin are sitting with Nate’s fiancé, Rachael. Glenn is seated at the head of the table and when she returns from the kitchen with fresh orange juice, Helen takes her seat at the opposite end of the table.

“Well isn’t this a beautiful sight,” Glenn says as everyone eats, “It seems like forever since we’ve had the entire family here for Sunday Brunch.”

Everyone nods in agreement and Mia swallows her mouthful of bacon before she replies.

“I’ll second that,” she says, “I’ve missed your cooking Helen. Uni has been so crazy the last few months that I haven’t had a chance to make the trip over here.”

“We understand that Mia, we’re all just glad to have you here for the weekend and I know Glenn and I are really proud of how hard you’ve been working and the results you’ve been getting,” Helen tells her sincerely

Mia beams at the praise as Tyler gently squeezes her thigh in agreement with his mother. Mia’s studies are still a sore point between them since they both now she would have been able to attend every Sunday Brunch if she’d accepted the offer she received from UniSA instead.

They all chat companionably about Tyler, Liz and Justin’s experiences at the recent Olympics in London.

It’s when they finish eating and everyone is helping to clear the table that Glenn clears his throat and turns to Tyler.

“So where did you and Mia disappear to last night?” he asked with a mischievous smile. “You must have got in late,” he continues, “because I never heard the two of you sneak in.”

Mia blushes a violent shade of red and she reaches up to rub the side of neck with embarrassment. The movement catches Helen’s attention and she catches a glimpse of the ring.

She grabs Mia’s hand from where it rests on her neck and turns it over to look at the large diamond perched on a simple white gold band. She looks from the ring to Mia’s face without saying anything and Mia offers a tentative smile before Helen is pulling her into a bone crushing hug and is sobbing happily as Glenn pulls Tyler into a hug as well.

“Congratulations you two,” he tells them, voice thick with emotion.

Tyler and Mia are then passed from one family member to the next until everyone has congratulated the young couple.

“We should go out for a fancy dinner tonight to celebrate,” Helen declares to which Mia grimaces in reply.

“I’m sorry Helen, I actually have to get on the road soon,” she explains. “I’ve got an early lecture tomorrow morning so I don’t want to get home too late.”

“That’s ok honey,” Helen replies, “When do you think you’ll be back our way?”

“I don’t know Helen, I’m gonna be crazy busy with uni and I don’t see myself having much spare time to make the 8 hour drive back over here,” Mia admits.

“Well you let me know when you catch a break and Glenn and I will throw you two an engagement party.”

“Thank you Helen that would be amazing.”

xXx

An hour later Mia’s car is packed, she’s said her farewells to everyone and is leaning against the hood of her car with Tyler.

“I’ll try to drive down to you soon, ok?” Tyler promises as he leans against the car.

Mia nods as she climbs off the car and turns to stand in front of Tyler. As she stands between his legs, he rests his hands on her hips and she leans forward to place her forehead against his.

“I always hate leaving,” she admits.

“I hate watching you leave,” Tyler agrees and he pulls her closer for a passionate kiss before pushing her towards the driver’s side door.

“You should get going so you can get home before dark.”

“I love you,” Mia says as she climbs into the car and starts it up.

“I love you too,” he replies as he leans through the window for one more quick kiss.

“Call me when you get home safe,” he adds as he steps back from the car.

“I will,” she promises with a sad smile before she drives away.


	3. ~SPRING 2012~

Mia spends most of spring attending lectures, finishing assignments and making plans with her best friend from high school, Olivia, to travel to the UK the following winter. Mia and Tyler spend what time they can together in spite of their busy schedules. When Mia’s not in class or studying, she’s trying to make the two hour drive up north to her home town to visit her family or making the 8 hour drive west to Tyler. They make it through the months apart much like they always have and time passes quickly until Mia wakes in the middle of the night in late September with a sharp stabbing pain through her lower abdomen. She curls up on her side and tries to will away the pain as she lies in the darkness, tears silently rolling down her cheeks.

As the dawn light filters through her blinds she’s still awake and in pain but the tears stopped flowing hours ago. Finally she realises that time isn’t helping and she climbs out of bed, throwing a jumper over her pajamas on the way out the door. She jumps in the car and drives herself the 15 minutes down the road to the local hospital and calmly walks into the emergency department. Half an hour later she’s wearing a hospital gown and lying in a bed as a nurse inserts an IV needle into her arm.

She’s there for hours as the doctor’s run tests and take numerous scans. It’s a little after 9am when she finally pulls out her phone to make a call. She considers calling her parents but doesn’t want to worry them when she doesn’t yet know what’s wrong. She sends a quick text to one of her housemates letting her know she might need a lift home later and someone to get her car home too and then she dials Tyler’s number without really thinking about it. She’s only aware of what she’s doing when she hears his voice on the other end of the line, husky from sleep. He’s groggy as he greets her, “Morning love.”

At the sound of his voice she loses the last of her strength and sobs heavily and Tyler panics when he hears her cries.

“Mia? Baby what’s wrong? Mia, talk to me?” he calls out.

It takes her a few minutes to control her breathing before the can speak.

“I don’t know,” she confesses, voice broken and cracked from the tears, “I’m in a lot of pain and I’m at the hospital. The doctors don’t know what’s wrong and I’m just really scared Ty.”

By the time she’s finished speaking Tyler’s already out of bed and throwing on clothes.

“I’m getting in the car now,” he tells her as grabs his keys and jogs down the stairs. I’m on my way baby. Just hang in there a few more hours. I love you.”

The line goes dead and Mia stares at the ceiling for a long moment until a nurse comes back into the room.

xXx

Two hours later, when the pain has abated, Mia is informed that the doctors still can’t find a cause for her pain and send her home provided she returns immediately if her symptoms return. Her housemates, Leah and Stacey, arrive to pick her up and drive her car home.

When they get to the house she eats a little and then goes to the shower. A few hours later the pain returns and Leah rushes her back to the ER. By the time they enter the waiting room Mia is pale, sweating and shaking uncontrollably. She’s quickly taken through to a bed and the doctors decide that her appendix has burst.

As she’s preparing for surgery Tyler arrives. He rushes to her bedside and grabs her hand as she shakes. He places a kiss to the top of her head and whispers to her.

“I’m here now, baby. You’re ok. Everything’s ok. I’ve got you, baby.”

He sits down on the bed beside her and she crawls into his lap as she cries into his chest. Leah excuses herself and asks Tyler to call when there’s any news.

“I haven’t called mum and dad yet,” she sobs once Leah leaves and he holds her close.

“Shhhh,” He replies, “I’ll call them, don’t worry.”

A nurse enters the room shortly after with paperwork for Mia to sign and explains to Tyler that the doctor will be ready to operate within the hour.

After she leaves Tyler pulls out his phone and dials Mary’s number. She picks up on the third ring.

“Tyler, honey. What can I do for you?” she asks,

“Mary, I don’t want to worry you but I’m in Geelong. Mia’s in the hospital and they’re about to take her into surgery to remove her appendix,” informs her in what he hopes is a calm tone.

The line is quiet for a while before Mary responds. “What do you need us to do?”

“Nothing,” he replies, “she’s gonna be in surgery for a few hours and then she’ll probably be out of it most of the night. I’ll stay with her and then you can drive down in the morning.”

“Ok, if you’re sure. Call us if anything changes though, ok?”

“Of course, Mary, I’ll look after her,” Tyler promises before hanging up.

“Thank you,” Mia whispers against Tyler’s chest when he puts down the phone.

“They’re gonna come see you in the morning,” he says and before Mia can reply the nurse returns and tells them that the doctor is ready for her now. Tyler climbs down off the bed and quickly kisses his fiancé before he watches the nurse wheel her bed out of the room and down the hall. He’s left standing alone in the empty hospital room holding a bag of Mia’s clothes and her engagement ring weighs heavy on the palm of his hand.

Without Mia to be strong for he crumbles. The tears he’s been holding back since this morning start to flow and his shoulders shake with heavy sobs. He cries for what feels like hours but is actually only minutes and when he pulls himself together and levels his breathing a nurse enters the room.

“I can show you to the waiting room if you’d like,” she offers gently.

He nods his head with a weak smile, not trusting his voice and follows her down the hallway.

She’s the same nurse that comes to speak with him shortly after midnight.

“Miss Baker is out of surgery and recovering in one of the wards upstairs,” she informs him.

“Can I see her?” he croaks, voice hoarse from disuse.

She nods and leads him to the elevator and then down a hallway on the third floor. She stops outside one of the wards and turns to face him.

“She’s still coming off the anaesthetic so she’ll be pretty out of it for the next few hours,” she warns, “but you can sit with her.”

He enters the room then and walks over to Mia’s bedside. She’s sleeping soundly as he takes her hand and sits down in the seat next to her bed. Mia wakes multiple times during the night and at one point she shuffles over and Tyler joins her on the bed.

They’re still asleep in each other’s arms when a nurse comes in to check Mia’s vitals.

Shortly before lunch time, Mia’s surgeon comes to see her and tells her that her appendix was perfectly healthy but they decided to remove it while they were there and had a look around but found nothing that could indicate the cause of her pain.

She’s checked out an hour later when Mary and Tim come to pick her up.

After leaving the hospital they drive to Mia’s house and she packs a bag.

“Mum wants me to go stay with them for a while so she can look after me,” she tells Tyler.

He nods before asking, “Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, you should head home,” Mia replies, “I’ll be ok now.”

They kiss and both Mary and Tim thank Tyler before they all get in their cars and head their separate ways.

xXx

Mia stays with her parents for two weeks, recovering before the pain returns and her dad rushes her to the local ER.

It takes 3 hours to get in to see a doctor and then another 4 to get a doctor who knows what’s wrong. Eventually she’s diagnosed with inflamed abdominal glands and sent home with high strength pain killers.

It’s another week before she returns home to sit her final exams for the year.


	4. ~SUMMER 2012/2013~

When she finishes exams at the end of October, Mia looks ahead to four months of stress free time with her fiancé and with the beginning of November, Mia finds herself with a fully loaded car, heading back to her parents’ house for a month. She calls Tyler from the car as she pulls out of the driveway.

“Hey babe,” she says in greeting when he picks up, “I’m just leaving now so I’ll be home in about 2 hours. How far off are you?”

“Hey gorgeous. I just drove through Nhill, so I’ll be about an hour and a half behind you,” he replies.

“Ok, I’ll see you then. I love you.”

“I love you too, drive safe.”

xXx

Three days later Mia enters the function room of a local pub near her parents’ house with Tyler by her side as they’re surrounded by Mia’s family and friends. They can see Scott by the bar talking with Mia’s brother-in-law, Dylan, and he waves at them when he sees them walk in.

“Thanks for throwing this all together Mary,” Tyler says as Mia’s mother approaches the couple. She’s a short woman, the same height as her daughter with curly shoulder length sandy brown hair with blonde highlights.

“Don’t mention it Tyler,” she smiles, “I love any excuse to throw a party.”

“Isn’t that the truth,” Mia laughs, “But seriously mum, thank you.”

Mary hugs the two of them before pushing them towards the crowded room with the instruction to mingle.

They spend the next hour walking around the room talking with Mia’s aunts and uncles and cousins, as well as some of her high school friends and their cycling mates.

While they are walking around the room they are stopped by Mia’s godmother, Sarah, who is also her mother’s best friend.

“So your family couldn’t make the trip, Tyler?” Sarah asks.

“Oh, we’re having another party next month when we’re in Adelaide,” Tyler replies.

“It’s going to be enough of an effort to get everyone together for the wedding itself let alone an engagement party,” Mia jokes.

“That’s understandable,” she agrees, “although I would have loved to have met your family.”

They continue mingling for another hour before Mary calls for the rooms’ attention and Mia and Tyler walk to the front of the room to stand beside her and Mia’s dad, Tim.

“Thank you all for coming tonight,” Mary tells the room. “Tim and I are very happy to finally be welcoming Tyler to the family officially. I say officially because both he and Scott have been a part of this family for many years now.”

Scott gives an enthusiastic yell from where he’s still standing at the bar, and Mary smiles affectionately at him before continuing.

“Anyway, as I was saying, thank you for being here tonight. I know we have a bit of a mixed crowd tonight but hopefully you’re all getting along and having a good time. Thank you to our extended family who have made the trip and to all Mia and Tyler’s cycling friends who have managed to leave the lycra at home and take the night off training to dress up and come out tonight,” the cyclists in the crowd chuckle.

“Also thank you, Mia’s school and uni friends. I would like to ask all of you to raise your glasses to toast Mia and Tyler. Here’s to many happy years ahead. To Mia and Tyler.”

“To Mia and Tyler,” the crowd echoes with raised glasses.

Tim clears his throat before speaking. He’s taller than his wife, dark short cropped hair, stocky build and a signature Chopper Reid moustache.

“I’d just like to echo Mary in thanking everyone for coming out tonight to support these two. Tonight has been a long time coming for them and I’m so very greatful that my little girl has found someone who loves her the way she deserves to be loved. To Mia and Tyler,” Tim concludes, raising his beer.

“To Mia and Tyler,” the crowd echoes again with glasses raised.

Mia quickly hugs her both her parents, eyes damp at her father’s words.

“Thanks,” she whispers, before pulling away from them.

The rest of the night is spent with more mingling.

They spend a while talking with Mia’s brother, Matt, who looks just like his father in stature and height although his face is clear of facial hair. Before too long they are pulled away to chat with Mia’s various school friends. When her aunts and uncles descend the couple split up and Tyler heads over to the bar where Scott is still perched at the bar, chatting with some of their local cycling mates. Among the young men gathered around is Josh, one of their team mates from the recent Olympics in London.

The couple make sure to thank as many people as they can for coming before slowly everyone makes their farewells and heads home.

xXx

Later that night when Mia and Tyler are lying in bed in Mia’s old room, she sighs happily.

“Did you have a good time tonight?” Tyler asks softly in the darkness.

“I did,” Mia smiles, “I really did. It was nice seeing all my high school friends again. I haven’t seen most of them since grad last year and then some of my other school friends I haven’t seen for a few years. It was nice to have a chat and a few drinks.”

“Good,” Tyler mumbles sleepily, “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. Now we just have to make it through Mum’s party next month.”

“I’m sure it will be just as fun,” Mia promises as she snuggles more closely to Tyler and soon they are both fast asleep.

xXx

Tyler and Mia stay with Mary and Tim until the start of December when they pack up Tyler’s car and drive back to Adelaide. The drive is long and exhausting. They’ve done it countless times so the scenery holds no appeal. Mia amuses herself by playing cheesy 90’s pop songs and singing along loudly as she drives. She laughs when Tyler eventually tires of judging her and instead joins in.

It’s a warm summer day and they have the car windows down. Tyler looks across to where Mia is using the steering wheel as a drum kit and is singing loudly, with a large smile on her face and her hair flying in the wind.

“Stop staring at me you creeper,” she laughs as the song ends and the next begins.

“Do you ever think about how these are the days we’ll be thinking back on when we’re old and grey?” he asks.

“Really?” Mia laughs, “when we’re sitting in the nursing home, you’re gonna be thinking of the day when you were 18 and drove 8 hours on a stinking hot day, singing Backstreet Boys songs?”

“I didn’t mean specifically all that,” Tyler defends. “I just meant this moment when we have no responsibilities and we’re laughing together and I don’t know. I was just watching you dancing in your seat and it just hit me how good we have it.”

“I love you too,” Mia replies knowingly and reaches across the distance to take Tyler’s hand in hers.

xXx

A week after their arrival in Adelaide Mia and Tyler find themselves at their second engagement party, this time hosted by Tyler’s mother, Helen. It’s just like the one they attended 4 weeks previously; they’re in the function room at Glenn’s local pub surrounded by family and friends, only this time the aunts, uncles and school friends are all Tyler’s, but just like at Mia’s party Scott is perched at the bar with many of their cycling friends.

The party goes much the same as their previous one had and before long everyone is heading home with promises to catch up over the summer.

In preparation for the fast approaching racing season, Tyler spends the weeks leading up to Christmas, training with the rest of his team from the South Australian Sports Institute that they all refer to as SASI. In an effort to spend as much time with Tyler as possible Mia joins the team on the road and they spend 5-6 hours a day riding the roads out of the city in the hot December weather. On the fourth day of riding with the team Mia turns to Tyler where he’s riding beside her.

“I’m so unfit,” she pants after taking a drink from her bidden.

“No you’re not,” Tyler replies calmly.

“Yeah I am,” Mia counters, “It’s hot and we’ve already covered almost 60km in the last 2 hours and I’m absolutely dying. Remind me again why I thought retiring from the sport was a good idea?”

Tyler chuckles before he replies.

“You stopped racing because you crashed,” Tyler reminds her. “You could always start again.”

“No, I couldn’t,” Mia puffs in reply, “I’m not that person anymore. I can’t risk putting myself in a cast again. You have no idea how hard it was living out of home on my own with a broken leg. I can’t do that again.”

Tyler falls silent at Mia’s mention of being alone.

“I didn’t mean to bring that up,” Mia mumbles in response to Tyler’s silence.

“Yeah, I know,” Tyler replies, “Just can’t avoid the fact that you were alone after that crash because I was an asshole and broke up with you.”

“How many times am I going to have to tell you that it doesn’t matter anymore?” Mia asks, “And if I remember correctly I’m the one that told you to leave.”

“I should have stayed,” Tyler replied quietly, voice laced with pain.

“I love you and I forgive you,” Mia whispers in return.

They both let the topic drop and continue riding for another 3 hours before heading back to the house for showers and dinner.

xXx

A few days before Christmas, Mia pulls Tyler’s car into the parking lot of The Beach House, an amusement park half an hour’s drive from Tyler’s house. Mia, Scott and Tyler are grinning as they climb out of the car, already in their bathers and ready to spend the day on the waterslides, dodgem cars and other attractions in the park.

“Happy Birthday Ty,” Mia says as she wraps her arm around his waist. He smiles back at her in reply and places an arm around her shoulders as the walk towards the entrance, Scott happily following behind them.

They spend the morning on the dodgem cars and then play mini golf and as the weather starts to warm they head to the cafés for lunch before they take on the water slides.

They’re sitting around a table with fish and chips when Scott turns Amelia.

“So Mia, how’s the planning for your EuroTrip going?” he chuckles.

“Pretty good,” Mia replies. “We decided we’re going to do a three week Contiki around Europe after the week we already have planned in London.”

“That sounds awesome,” Scott offers and Tyler remains silent while the pair discuss the details of Mia’s trip as they finish lunch. Then they head off towards the pools and slides to survive the high temperatures in the afternoon sun.

They’re all exhausted as they pile into the car at the end of the day and Tyler smiles contently when he looks at the back seat where his fiancé and best friend are slumped against each other, barely awake as he pulls the car out of its park and starts to drive home.

xXx

The trio sigh with relief as they enter the house and are bathed in the cool breeze from the air conditioner. Helen enters the room just as they slump on the couch, “How was your day?” she asks cheerfully.

“Good,” they all mumble sleepily and Helen chuckles in response.

“Well dinner is almost ready and everyone’s already in the dining room if you wanna go join them.”

They slowly stand from the couch and shuffle towards the dining room, collapsing into their seats around the table. Once dinner and drinks are served the cooler temperature in the house finally takes affect and the trio regain their energy and join in the happy conversations around them.

After the food is cleaned away Helen re-enters the room with Tyler’s birthday cake. Scott and Mia are the first to join in with her singing but before long everyone around the table is singing loudly and out of tune. After they shout their last hooray, Tyler blows out the candles and cuts the cake. As they knife touches the plate he pulls Mia into a heated kiss and before long Liz, Nathan, Justin and Rachel are all clearing their throats loudly as Helen, Glenn and Scott laugh. When the young couple pull apart for breathe they share small private smiles with each other before Lizzie takes over cutting and handing out the cake. They all stay up long into the night talking and it’s well after midnight when they call it a night and head upstairs to sleep.

xXx

Christmas day finds Mia sitting at a large table in the backyard of Tyler’s parents’ house, surrounded by people. Ty’s extended family has been steadily arriving all morning and there are at least 2 dozen people in the yard, as well as Scott and his dad Jim, who have been considered family for most of the last decade. Mia excuses herself from a conversation with Rachel and Nathan, and walks into the house. She finds Helen in the kitchen and steps up beside her as she stands at the island bench carving the leg of ham.

“Where do you need me, Mum?” she asks.

“If you could finish the potato salad that would really help,” Helen replies as she lays the ham slices on a large platter.

They work in comfortable silence for a while until all the food is ready and then Mia returns to the back yard to get Tyler, Scott and Nathan to come help them bring it all out to the table.

After they’ve all eaten their fill they sit around in the afternoon sun, drinking and catching up on the events of the year.

“So when’s the wedding going to be darling,” Tyler’s aunt, Eloise, asks Mia as they sit in the shade of the large tree overlooking the pool where most of the cousins are swimming.

“Not for a while yet Eloise,” Mia replies, “We decided to wait until I graduate university and I still have two years left.”

“That seems like a smart decision,” Eloise says and the both take a pull from their beer bottles.

“Yeah,” Mia agrees, “Neither of us is in any hurry. We know we’re in this for good so it doesn’t really matter if it’s official right away.”

Eloise is interrupted from replying when Tyler walks up beside them, dripping wet from the pool.

“Hey babe,” he greets Mia with a kiss, “Hey Aunty El.”

“Hey darling, Merry Christmas,” Eloise replies.

“Merry Christmas to you too, El. You got your phone on you gorgeous?” Tyler asks and after Mia nods with a confused expression he continues. “Can I borrow it for a sec? Mine’s inside.”

“Of course,” she says as she pulls it out of her pocket.

He takes in from her hand and places it on the small table behind him before quickly sweeping Mia up and throwing her over his shoulder, before running towards the pool.

“DON’T YOU DARE, TYLER MASON CARTER!” Mia screams, but she laughs as she bounces along with his gate. She squeals loudly as Tyler jumps into the cool water of the pool, taking her with him.

When they break the surface of the water Mia pulls in a deep breathe before splashing water at Tyler’s face. She’s smiling as Ty grabs her wrists to stop a second wave of water hitting him and uses that leverage to pull her to him. They’re both laughing as they kiss and it’s more teeth than lips but they’re both too happy to care.

“Merry Christmas Amelia,” Tyler whispers as they pull apart, resting their foreheads together.

“Merry Christmas, Ty,” Mia replies.

Before they can say another word water cascades over both of them and when they look towards it’s source Scott and Lizzie are laughing hysterically.

The water fight that follows lasts the remainder of the evening and is only called to an end when Helen announces that dinner is ready.

They climb out of the pool and let the hot evening sun dry them off as they sit down at the table again to eat. The sun sets while they eat and Glenn lights the tiki torches they have spaced around the yard. Tyler and Mia remain in the yard talking and drinking for a few hours after dinner before excusing themselves.

“Goodnight all,” Tyler calls out as they stand, “We’ve got to get on the road early in the morning to get to Mia’s family for lunch.”

Everyone hugs them goodbye and Scott is the last to say goodnight before they leave.

“See you guys in two days,” he says as he hugs them both.

“Sure thing Scotty, save us a good room at the hotel,” Mia grins.

“I’ll try,” Scott smiles and they head inside and up to Tyler’s room.

xXx

Dawn is breaking as they load the car with their bags and gifts, and they’re on the road before anyone else in the house stirs.

It’s mid-morning when they turn of the highway and onto the back country roads. The sun’s already beating down on them through the windscreen and Mia has her window down and her feet up on the dash as she reads her book.

“Babe, is it this turn off or the next one?” Tyler asks, “I can never remember.”

Mia looks up from the pages of her book and closes it, using her finger as a bookmark.

“The next one,” she smiles, before putting her book away and turning up the stereo. She sings along with the radio for the next 15 minutes before Tyler pulls the car off the road. They pull up next to the other cars parked outside an old country hall. Back in the 60’s Mia’s dad, Tim, had gone to school here with his siblings.

“Here we go with another exciting Boxing Day with the Bakers,” Mia sighs as Tyler turns off the car and they climb out.

“Oh you don’t mean that,” Tyler chuckles, “It’ll be fun.”

“Easy for you to say,” Mia mumbles darkly, “You’ve only been to a few of these damn things. I’ve been doing this my whole life. These people are crazy.”

Tyler’s laughs as he opens the boot and pulls out their gifts.

“They’re your family,” he reminds her.

“Exactly,” Mia replies before she also cracks a smile and they’re both laughing as they approach the hall, and are greeted by the men standing around outside, watching the younger kids running around.

“Merry Christmas Dad,” Mia says as Tim pulls her into a hug.

“Merry Christmas, baby girl,” he replies.

They spend some time greeting family before lunch is served and they all crowd around a long trestle table inside the hall. The hall is filled with loud chatter and laughing as it usually is when all the Bakers are brought together in the same place. Mia finds herself sitting between Tyler and one of her aunts, Lisa. Tyler is talking with Mia’s brother-in-law, Dylan who is sitting on the other side of him, so Mia finds herself having to make conversation with her aunt. She always dreads these conversations because every year it’s the same thing. Lisa’s eldest daughter, Gemma, is the same age as Mia and Lisa has spent most of their lives trying to get the two of them to compete against each other.

“So how’s your first year of uni been Mia?” Lisa asks while they eat.

“Yeah it’s been really good,” Mia replies with a small smile, “My grades are good and exams went well.”

“Glad to hear it,” Lisa smiles, “Gemma’s been doing really great in her classes.”

“Oh that’s good to hear,” Mia says, swallowing back the sarcasm in an attempt to sound sincere.

“She’s living near you in Geelong,” Lisa tells her and Mia nods before she continues, “Maybe you guys can catch up a bit more next year.”

“Oh I don’t know, I’m pretty busy you know,” Mia replies quickly, “what with uni, and work and then trying to get to Adelaide as much as possible to see Ty, and then add on planning the wedding on top of that. It’s gonna be a bit of a crazy year and I’m going to Europe for a month in August as well.”

“Wow,” Lisa says, “You are gonna be busy.”

Mia nods and then is saved from continuing the conversation when Tyler turns to her.

“Hey who was that girl that you set Scotty up with last month?” he asks her and she happily excuses herself from talking with Lisa.

“Her name was Laura,” she replies.

“Right,” Tyler nods before continuing his story with Dylan, “So we’re on this double date and we’re sitting in the cinema, about halfway through the movie and I look across Mia to where Laura and Scotty are sitting and she’ practically in his lap.”

“In her defence,” Mia adds, “Our boy Scotty has mad game.”

They all start laughing in response and the rest of the afternoon is spent catching up with other members of the family.

Just before dinner, Mia seeks out Mary where she’s talking with Tim’s sisters.

“Hey sweetheart,” She greets as Mia steps up beside her.

“Hey mumzy,” Mia smiles, “Ty and I are gonna have to head off soon.”

“We’re just about to have dinner,” one of Mia’s aunts says.

“Yeah, sorry we’re gonna have to pass this year,” Mia replies with a sad smile. “We’ve gotta get to Melbourne to catch a flight to Tasmania tonight. Tyler is racing in a Carnival there for the next week.”

Mary stands and draws Mia into a hug, “Drive safe, sweetheart and call us when you get there, alright?”

“Will do mumzy,” Mia replies.

She walks outside and sees that Tyler is already standing by the car, having already said his farewells.

“Drive safe, ok?” Tim says as he pulls his younger daughter in to a hug.

“Will do Daddio,” Mia replies with a smile, “See you in a few weeks at the Tour.”

“Yeah see you then, hon.”

Mia waves again as she climbs into the car and Tyler starts the engine.

xXx

The following day Mia is sitting beside an outdoor velodrome in Latrobe, Tasmania. The sun is high in the sky and the weather is hot. The team rides well and by the end of the day they’ve taken out many placings throughout the days program. Over the next few days the trend continues and the team continues placing well.

They’re in Hobart on New Year’s Eve and the team are all at the waterfront sitting on the grass, watching the live music as they wait for the fireworks to begin. The last race of the carnival is tomorrow so none of the riders are drinking, although Mia is well on her way to drunk and many of the coaches and mechanics are sipping on the 4th or 5th beers.

Tyler’s legs are framing Mia’s hips and he wraps his arms around her wait as she leans into him, resting her back against his chest as they listen to the music. She takes a pull from her beer and the night is still warm, holding on to the stifling heat from earlier in the day.

Before long the crowd starts counting and the team join in.

“10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…”

As the fireworks erupt in the sky above them, Mia twists in Tyler’s arms until she’s facing him and kisses him deeply.

“Happy New Year,” Tyler tells her when the pull apart to breathe.

“Happy New Year,” Mia replies before she’s kissing him again and he falls backwards until his lying on the ground with Mia on top of him. They kiss for a while before the team start making gagging sounds around them and Mia sits up with a blush and pulls Ty up until his sitting again with Mia straddling his lap.

xXx

2 days later, Mia, Tyler and the rest of the team are all sitting on a plane on their way back to Adelaide.

They spent most of January as they did December, riding their bikes all day and spending the evenings either curled up on the couch or out with Scott.

xXx

Towards the end of the month, some of the world’s greatest cyclists descend on Adelaide. Tyler and Mia spend less time together in the days before the beginning of the Tour Down Under and on the 22nd of January she finds herself in the driver’s seat of Tyler’s teams support vehicle. In the passenger seat beside her is Tyler’s academy coach, Ben Grimes, and in the backseat are two of the teams’ mechanics, Ryan and Liam. As well as Scott, the team consists of a few other riders from their SASI team, as well as three guys from out of state.

Ben hangs up his phone and turns to Mia.

“The commissaire just finished reading them the riot act so get ready, they’ll be leaving within the next few minutes.”

Mia nods and starts the car as she looks past the four cars ahead of her to where she can see the mass of riders spread out across the breadth of the road.

A few minutes later the race begins and Mia places the car into drive, following behind the Orica-GreenEdge team car. They spend the next 3 and a half hours following the riders over the 135km course.

Stage 1 goes by very uneventfully as does the next 3 stages. From where they are at the back of the field, they see none of the action and the only thing that breaks up the continuous driving is the occasional flat tire that they stop to change for one rider or another.

It is on the 5th stage of the tour that Mia is shocked out of her boredom of following the car in front of her. The race is just over 2 hours in and they have already covered 100km out of the 150 for the day when the call comes over the race radio that there has been a major fall in the middle of the peloton. Everyone in the car shifts nervously in their seat as they see riders lying on the road up ahead. The team cars ahead of them are pulling over to the side of the road and mechanics are jumping out, running towards their injured riders. Mia follows suit and Ben throws the first aid kit to her as they scan the sea of riders for any of their boys. Race radio is no use in a crash this big, so the only way to identify fallen riders is to look for themselves.

Mia swears as she spots three of their riders on the side of the road.

“Ben!” she calls out as she runs to them, “They’re over here!”

Once she sees him moving towards her, she turns back to the riders.

“Boys! Are you ok?” she asks as she approaches where Tyler is standing with one of his team mates, Jack. There is a third rider on the ground but Mia can’t see who it is as the boys are standing between him and her, blocking his face from sight.

“We’re ok, just a few scratches and some pretzelled wheels,” Tyler says as he turns at the sound of her voice.

Mia turns to where their mechanics are picking their way through the carnage towards them, spare wheels already in hand.

“Ryan, Liam! We need those spare wheels over here now!” Mia yells as Jack goes to grab their bikes.

“Gumby here, on the other hand,” Tyler continues, calling Mia’s attention back to the rider on the ground. “Well, he’s not going anywhere. Pretty sure the idiot’s broken his collar bone and a few ribs.”

As Mia turns back to him she is able to see that it is Scott lying on the road side. She swears again as she drops to her knees beside him.

“How you feeling, idiot?” Mia asks as she gently presses at his right collar bone.

“Been better,” Scott hisses through clenched teeth.

“That collar bone is definitely broken, and I’m pretty sure you’ve cracked the third and fourth rib,” Mia tells him. “Anything else I need to check?”

“My left knee feels pretty banged up,” he winces.

As Mia shuffles on her knees to look at his knee, Tyler yells over to them.

“You guys good? Because we gotta go, if we’re gonna have any chance of catching the peloton.”

“Go!” Mia yells in reply, “I’ve got this, just please be careful.”

Tyler nods once before he and Jack jump on their bikes and take off in pursuit of the remaining peloton.

xXx

It’s been a few hours since the crash and Mia is sitting in the hospital waiting room surrounded by people. The team is there, along with the entire Carter family. Tyler is sitting beside her and Scott’s dad, Jim is sitting on her other side. She squeezes his hand as he nervously taps his foot on the ground.

“He’s gonna be fine,” Mia murmurs to him gently. “You heard the doctors, it’s just a few pins to help it heal quicker. He’ll be fine.”

Jim offers a faint smile in return but continues his nervous tapping.

“Jim, he’s ok,” Mia tries again, “He was still giving me shit in the ambulance the whole way here.”

“I know,” Jim sighs, “Thank you Mia. He’s just all I have left.”

Mia nods knowingly before she pulls Jim into a hug.

“You have us too,” She whispers as he hugs back just as tightly, “you’re part of this family too.”

Jim pulls back from the hug and offers a much warmer smile but before he can say anything more Scott’s surgeon enters the room and he’s jumping to his feet, pulling Mia up with him.

“Is he alright?” Jim asks anxiously.

“You’re son is just fine Mr Miller. The operation went smoothly and he should be coming to sometime within the next hour. “

Everyone sighs with relief at the doctors words before Jim asks what they’re all thinking.

“Can we see him?”

“Just immediate family at this stage,” the doctor replies apologetically, “I’ll send a nurse to come get you once he’s settled in a room.”

“Thank you,” Jim says before the doctor turns and leaves the room.

It’s another 15 or so minutes before a nurse enters the waiting room. She calls for Jim and as she turns to lead him from the room he calls to Mia and Tyler.

“I’m sorry sir,” she apologises, “only immediate family are allowed to visit right now.”

“These are Scott’s brother and sister,” Jim replies calmly. The nurse nods with acceptance and leads them down a hallway and into a private room where Scott is lying asleep in the bed.

He wakes almost an hour later and once he’s lucid he makes Tyler go home to rest before he has to race the following day. After he leaves Mia sits in the chair beside Scott’s bed as Jim makes himself comfortable on the small sofa by the wall. They talk for a while before Scott falls asleep and Mia joins him not long after.

xXx

After the tour, Mia remains in Adelaide for a week to help Jim and Scott around the house before she packs her things and Tyler drives her back to her share house in Geelong.

“When do you fly out?” Mia asks quietly.

“In 2 days,” Tyler replies, equally as quiet.

They are both standing on the footpath outside Mia’s house, Tyler’s car parked behind him.

“Good luck,” Mia smiles softly, “I here Belarus is lovely this time of year.”

Tyler huffs out a laugh at her attempt to lighten the mood and pulls her to him in a tight embrace.

“I love you,” he whispers as he holds her close.

“I love you too,” Mia replies, “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll see you in a month,” Tyler promises before kissing her.

Within minutes Mia’s arms are empty and Tyler’s car is rounding the corner and disappearing from sight. She stands on the footpath alone, for a few minutes more before turning and slowly making her way into the house.


	5. ~WINTER 2013~

Autumn passes uneventfully as Tyler continues to train and race in various events both locally and overseas, while Mia studies and works to pay for her upcoming trip. They make every effort they can to spend time with each other but for the most part it’s short texts and late night skype calls that get them through. As the weather turns colder and July turns to August neither have seen the other in almost 2 months.

xXx

Mia is standing in Olivia’s local pub as they share a few beers with friends and family. Today is a joint 20th birthday party for the two of them as well as also being a farewell party for them before they fly out to London next week. They’ve been there for a little over an hour when the front doors open and Tyler walks in.

“You’re here!” Mia cries out as she throws herself into his arms.

“Sorry I’m late,” Tyler apologises.

“I’m just glad you’re here,” Mia admits.

“Me too,” Tyler agrees before pulling her into a kiss.

The afternoon is fun and full of light hearted chatter and Mia climbs into Tyler’s car after goodbyes are said and well wishes are given. They drive home with Mary and Tim not far behind in their own car.

xXx

“What?” Mia grumbles in frustration.

“What do you mean, what?” Tyler questions. He’s sitting on Mia’s bed, flipping through the pages of a magazine while she’s sitting on the floor packing the last of her things into her suitcase.

“You know exactly what I mean,” Mia huffs in reply, “What’s up with you? You’ve been in a mood all afternoon and you’ve barely spoken a word to me in hours. Something is clearly bothering you.”

“It’s nothing,” Tyler says, without looking at her.

Mia slams her suitcase closed in frustration before she stands up, ripping the magazine from his hands and flinging it across the room. This finally gets his attention and he stairs up at her as she stands beside the bed.

“I don’t like that you’re going to Europe on your own,” he admits.

Mia’s anger deflates momentarily as she scrambles for something to say.

“What the hell are you talking about?” she asks in confusion, “I’m going with Liv.”

“I mean without me,” he huffs in reply.

“You go to Europe all the time without me and you don’t hear me complaining,” Mia spits back, anger mounting again.

“That’s different!” Tyler says defensively, “I go there for work. You’re going to drink and party.”

Mia is flawed. In all their years together one thing has always remained constant, and that is the trust they have in each other. It hurts more than she’s willing to admit that he’s thinking this way.

“You think I’ll cheat on you,” Mia says, no hint of a question in her deflated tone before her anger is quickly spiking again as she begins to speak. “Our entire relationship has been long distance and you have always trusted me! I’ve gone partying and drinking countless times over the last two years and not once have you ever doubted me nor have I ever given you a reason to!” she’s shouting by now and the voice in the back of her head tells her that her parents can most definitely hear every word she’s screaming.

“This is not about me not trusting you Mia,” Tyler yells back as he stands up from the bed and towers over her. She takes a step back so that he can’t make her feel small.

“Well then what is it Ty?” she shouts.

“I don’t trust them!” he replies, frustrated that she can’t understand, “I don’t trust all those guys in all those bars and clubs and I hate that if anything happens I can’t protect you!”

“Protect me? Like I’m some damsel in distress that needs her knight in shining armour to defend her honour? Fuck you Tyler, you know damn well that if anyone tried anything that I wasn’t ok with, whether it’s in Europe or here, I am perfectly capable of protecting myself. Either you’re lying to me or you’re lying to yourself because clearly this is about more than not trusting random guys in bars and frankly I don’t give a shit which one it is. Either way you’re still being an asshole and you can get the fuck out of my house.”

Tyler stares at her for a moment, too shocked to reply.

Before he has a chance Mia takes a deep breath and repeats herself, more calmly this time.

“Get out of my house Tyler. I’ll see you when I get back. I love you but I’m not having this fight with you.”

Tyler picks up his bag off the floor and turns to leave. He stops in the doorway and looks back at Mia sadly.

“I hope you two have fun, but please promise me you’ll be safe. I have a bad feeling about this trip and I think it’s a bad idea.”

Without another word he walks down the hallway. Mia hears Tim ask Tyler what’s going on before she hears the back door close and not long after that, the engine of his car purrs to life and then pulls out of her driveway.

xXx

Mia is quiet in the car to the airport and remains sombre while they check in for their flight and make their way through security. It’s only when they’re sitting at their gate that Olivia snaps.

“Oh for fucks sake Amelia, would you just call him already? We’re supposed to be ecstatically excited about this trip and I will not have you killing my buzz because you’re sulking about Tyler.”

Mia rolls her eyes at her best friend but fishes her phone out of her pocket and dials the familiar number.

“I’m sorry. I love you,” Tyler blurts out the moment he picks up the phone and before Mia can speak he continues. “You were right. I was being an asshole and I’m sorry. I never should have said what I did and I trust you more than anyone else in the world Mia.”

“It’s okay,” Mia replies quietly, eyes misted with unshed tears at his heartfelt apology.

xXx

One month later Mia is back in the Melbourne airport, only this time instead of crying into her phone she is clinging to Tyler as his arms hug her back just as tightly. They only let go of each other when Oliva clears her throat.

“Mum, Dad! Can we go now?” she mockingly harps. Mia laughs at her best friend in reply as they turn and head towards the car park.

“Tell me everything,” Tyler excitedly demands as he pulls the car onto the highway, heading north out of the city.

Both Mia and Olivia are grinning as they launch into the tale of their four week adventure across Western Europe.

They begin their story with the first day of the trip, which was also Mia’s 20th Birthday.

“It was crazy!” they begin, “we landed at 6 in the morning and after dumping our bags at the hotel we got lost looking for a Maccas so we could use the wifi. Then we saw just about all of London in one day. We started at Platform 9 ¾ at Kings Cross station and then we saw Waterloo station, London Bridge, Tower Bridge, the Eye, and Big Ben and then Trafalgar square and we finished the day off by watching the Lion King Musical on the West End and that was only the first day.”

Tyler grins at their enthusiasm as they continue.

“We spent the next few days wandering around before we went to the Warner Bros. Harry Potter studio tour. Which we followed up with four days at the HP convention and it was amazing Ty,” Mia declares, “We met these two really awesome girls on the first day in the queue. Then after the con we went on the Contiki tour and started with the first night in PARIS!”

The remainder of the 2 hour drive to Olivia’s house is spent telling Tyler about everything they had seen and done on their way through France, Italy, Austria, Germany, Lichtenstein, Switzerland, the Netherlands and then Belgium.

After they drop Olivia off, they get back in the car and head towards Mia’s parents’ house.

“Are you feeling any better?” Tyler asks as he drives, “You said you felt pretty sick over there.”

“I’m doing alright,” Mia shrugs, “I went to a doctor in Austria. He’s name was Klaus, by the way, which I thought was great,” she adds with a soft chuckle that is immediately followed by a wince.

“He said I have tonsillitis, bronchitis, a lung infection and a sinus infection,” she informs her fiancé, “and then I went paragliding and I broke a rib.”

Tyler glances over at her in surprise.

“Jesus Christ Mia! I thought you meant you just had the flu or something!”

xXx

A week after Mia’s return to Australia both she and Tyler are still at her parents’ house. They’re lying in bed when Mia tells Tyler what’s been playing on her mind for a while now.

“I’m dropping out of Deakin after this semester,” she admits.

From where her head is resting on Tyler’s chest she feels him tense in response to her words.

“What?” he chokes out.

“I made a mistake with my choice of degree,” she explains softly, “it’s not what I want to do anymore and I think I’m gonna try to transfer uni’s and get a Paramedics degree instead.

“I wasn’t sure until I was meeting people in our tour group in Paris and I realised I didn’t want to tell them I was a journalism student and that made me certain. I’m gonna finish this semester and I already applied for a place at UniSA just in case so now I just have to get through exams and then wait. I’m gonna cut my lease early in Geelong and move back in here for summer if Mum and Dad let me,” she pauses her explanation long enough for Tyler to jump in.

“You could move in with me,” he offered.

“I wanna spend some time with mum and dad before I move to Adelaide permanently,” she explains gently.

“Ok babe, Tyler accepts, “if you’re staying in uni for an extra few years do you want to postpone the wedding?”

“NO!” Mia exclaims, “Absolutely not!”

Tyler grins and kisses her.


	6. ~SPRING 2013~

A month and a half after her return from Europe, Mia is once again sitting in an airport terminal. This time, however Liv is nowhere to be seen and instead she is joined by Tyler, Scott and her family. As well as Mary and Tim, they are joined by Mia’s brother, Matt and his girlfriend, Krystal and their older sister, Jess, is also there with her husband Dylan and his three children. Tim’s younger sister, Claire and her husband Brett, along with their three young kids round out the family members sitting around waiting to board their flight.

When their flight is called they all stand and make their way through the gate and onto the waiting flight. As they board Mia over hears her brother’s girlfriend, Krystal, complain about her seat and rolls her eyes with a groan from where she’s sitting two rows down, in between Tyler and Scott.

“Play nice,” Tyler whispers under his breath.

“Why?” Mia whispers in reply, “she’s an absolutely nightmare and nobody on this trip except Mum and Matt even like her. She’s not even family so what is she doing on this FAMILY holiday?”

Tyler doesn’t say anything and instead only gives her a pointed look.

“Oh, you and Scott have been a part of this family for years so shut up,” she responds, “She hasn’t earned her place like you guys and Dylan have.”

Tyler chuckles quietly and an hour later they land on the Gold Coast in Queensland.

xXx

The first few days pass by without much drama. Scott, Tyler and Mia split up from the others and head to some of the theme parks and then return to the resort where they’re staying for dinner as a group.

It’s on the fourth day of the trip that things take an interesting turn. Mia, Scott and Tyler had spent the morning at a tattoo parlour while Mia got a new piece inked onto her shoulder blade and then had taken the bus to one of the theme parks where they had spent the afternoon with Tim and Mary as well as Claire, Brett and their kids.

It’s at dinner when everything goes terribly wrong.

They are all sitting around a large table discussing the menu while they wait for Jess and Dylan to arrive, when Krystal makes an off-hand comment about Mia. No one hears her words but Mary, so they are all shocked by what comes next.

Mia is pulled from her conversation with Claire, as Krystal stands abruptly and storms out of the restaurant. She, along with everyone else gathered around the table, watches her leave with stunned expressions. They’re all silent for a moment, and it’s Matt who speaks first.

“What the actual fuck just happened?” he asks.

Mary is silent but clearly upset and it’s Tim who answers his son.

“Go after her.” He urges and then continues in response to Matt’s hesitant expression, “Just go. We will sort this out.”

As Matt rushes out after his girlfriend, Mary also slips from the restaurant and Mia quickly follows her out to the street.

Mia catches up to her on the curb outside and she’s crying silently when Jess and Dylan arrive.

“Mum?” Jess asks with concern when she sees her mother’s tears. She takes a moment to look between Mia and Mary before asking, “What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing,” Mary insures, “Just go inside.”

Jess tries to argue but Dylan ushers her into the restaurant while she glares at Mia.

“Mum, what the hell happened in there?” Mia questions once they are alone.

“It’s nothing,” Mary lies, “Go back inside.”

“No! What happened in there?” Mia asks again, more insistently this time.

Mary sighs deeply before she answers her daughter.

“Krystal insulted you and I told her that she had no right talking about you like that in front of me and that if she couldn’t be civil she wasn’t welcome in our family. Then she stormed out.”

“Mum,” Mia begins before choking on tears and she only manages to whisper, “Thank you.”

“I’ll always take your side. You’re my daughter. Now just go back inside,” Mary replies, “I just need a minute to pull myself together.”

“Are you sure?” Mia asks with concern, but after receiving a quick nod from her mum she turns and walks back inside.

Mia sits back down at the table without a sound and shakes her head in response to Tyler and Scott’s questioning looks.

Mary returns to the table a few minutes later, by which time Tim is trying to explain the situation to Jess, who has made the assumption that Mia has caused a scene.

“She always does this,” Jess declares in a loud voice, “She always makes everything about her and she ruins everything!”

“That’s not fair,” Tim replies, “Mia didn’t do anything wrong here.”

“Well of course you’d defend her!” Jess yells.

Mia feels her eyes start to mist, tears building in response to her sisters hurtful words.

“I’m gonna go,” she whispers to Tyler as she collects her things and stands to leave.

“Don’t,” Tyler pleads as he grabs her wrist to stop her walking away.

“I have too,” Mia explains, “I don’t want to be put in the middle of them all again.”

“At least tell your mum before you go,” Claire requests.

Mia nods and walks towards where Mary is standing near Jess and Tim.

“Don’t even start Amelia,” Jess shouts as she sees Mia approach.

“No it’s fine,” Mia tries to explain, “I’m gonna go.”

She doesn’t get to say anymore before Jess is moving across the space between them and punches Mia square in the jaw.

Mia flashes with anger and Tim must see something in her expression because he is grabbing hold of her before she has a chance to strike back at her sister.

Jess storms from the restaurant with Dylan and their kids in her wake while everyone else stares on in shock.

The moment Tim lets go of her, Mia is running outside, tears falling as she moves between the tables.

Once she’s outside she crosses the road and blindly runs away from the chaos behind her. She barely makes it a block before Mary, Tim, Scott and Tyler catch up to her.

Tyler grabs her arm and pulls her to his chest when he catches up to her. He doesn’t say a word as she cries and the other three give them a moment.

When Mia finally raises her head from where it’s buried in Tyler’s chest, her eyes fall on the tear stained face of her mother.

“I’m so sorry,” she sobs and her parents pull her into their arms. They stand in silence for a long while before Mia speaks again.

“You should go after Jess and Matt,” she tells her parents.

“You need us right now,” Tim explains, “So we’re not going anywhere.”

“You gonna be ok if we go?” Tyler murmurs, “I think you need to sort through some family issues right now.”

Mia nods, not trusting her voice not to break and Tyler promises to meet them back at the resort later before the boys walk back to the restaurant where Claire and Brett are still sitting; confused by everything that has happened in the last few minutes.

Mary, Tim and Mia make their way back to the resort and it’s only when they are walking along a quiet street near their destination that Mia finally voices her thoughts.

“Thanks for coming after me,” she tells her parents.

“Of course we did,” Mary replies kindly.

“No, really,” Mia continues, “Thank you for picking me over Jess, or even Matt. I never thought you’d do that.”

“We don’t have favourites,” Tim tells her, “You needed us the most tonight so here we are.”

“Thank you,” Mia mumbles quietly.

xXx

The last few days of the holiday pass by in awkward silence and Mia spends as much time as she can away from the rest of her family and the manage to make it onto the flight home 3 days later without any more drama.

Once back home Mia moves back into her parents’ house and then spends the rest of spring working and waiting for her university results.


	7. ~SUMMER 2013/2014~

Just as she as she has for years, Mia spends the entire month of December in Adelaide with the Carter Family and just like she had the previous year, she spends the weeks before Tyler’s birthday riding for long hours in the blistering sun alongside the team.

Tyler’s birthday is a simpler affair this year. They spend the day in their backyard pool with Scott and the other riders from the SASI team.

xXx

The Christmas period goes much the same as the year before with the couple spending Christmas day with Tyler’s family and then Boxing Day with Mia’s.

Boxing Day evening, Mia and Tyler drive through the fading sunlight to a country town in the west of the state. When they arrive they join up with Tyler’s team and over the course of the week they travel across the state, racing in a different town everyday as part of the state-wide Christmas Carnivals.

xXx

Two weeks after New Year’s Eve, Tyler is staying with Mia where she is temporarily living with Tim and Mary.

It’s a Wednesday and Tyler is watching with anticipation as Mia logs on to her computer. She’s silent for a while before she turns to him.

“I didn’t get in,” Mia tells him in quiet and pained voice.

“Oh Mia,” Tyler replies softly, “I’m sorry babe.”

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do now,” she admits sadly as Tyler hugs her close to his chest.

“We’ll work something out,” he promises gently as he feels her begin to shake.

xXx

Mia doesn’t see Tyler at all over the next month and slowly she starts to notice a difference in their relationship. They text less and less and unless Mia calls him, they don’t speak.

She’s confused by the change but decides that she’s just being paranoid. She convinces herself that he’s just busy. So she devotes her spare time to working out what to do with herself now that university is no longer an option.

xXx

“Hey mum,” Mia asks as she helps her mum with the dishes after dinner, “would you mind if I stay living here for a bit longer than I planned?”

It’s been a month since her university application was denied and Amelia finally feels that she has made a plan, if only a short term one.

“You’re welcome here as long as you want sweetheart,” Mary replies.

“I’m thinking I wanna stay here and work this year and then next year I’ll be old enough to apply as a mature age student and then maybe I’ll get accepted this time round.”

Mary smiles at her daughter warmly, “I think that sounds like a wonderful idea. What does Tyler think about you staying here another year? I know he was excited for the two of you to finally be living together.”

“I don’t know,” Mia replies sadly, “he hasn’t been answering my calls, or replying to my texts.”

“Well keep trying, I’m sure he’s just been busy,” Mary tells her.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right,” Mia agrees half-heartedly.

xXx

“Hey are you with Ty?” Mia asks when Scott answers the phone.

“Umm…” Scott replies, and Mia hears mumbled talking before Scott continues. “No he’s not here.”

“Have I done something?” Mia questions, “He’s ignoring my texts and hasn’t answered my calls in two weeks. What’s going on?”

“I’m sure he’s just busy,” Scott replies awkwardly.

Mia hears the lie in his voice, but doesn’t bother calling him on it and instead abruptly ends the call without another word.

xXx

Another week goes by without any contact from Tyler, so Mia climbs into her car and drives to Adelaide. It’s late evening when she finally arrives on Tyler’s doorstep and it’s Nathan who answers the door when she knocks.

“Hey Nate,” Mia smiles, “Is your brother home?”

“Hey. Yeah, he’s in the living room,” Nate replies and steps aside to let Mia into the house.

Mia makes her way down the hall and when she walks into the living room she sees Tyler in the couch watching TV with their chocolate Labrador, Hamish curled up against him.

Hamish notices her entrance first and launches across the room to jump up at her happily.

“Hey baby boy,” Mia greets, kneeling down to hug her dog and scratch behind his ears. “Did you miss your mumma?” She asks with a laugh as he licks her face affectionately.

“Mia?” Tyler questions as he stands from the couch. Mia crosses the room and pulls him back down to sit next to her.

“Hey,” she greets as Hamish settles himself across her lap.

“What are you doing here?” Tyler asks in confusion.

“You’ve been dodging my calls and I needed to talk to you,” she explains and then launches into her plan for the next year. When she finishes speaking she is shocked by Tyler’s reaction.

“Do you even want to live me?” he yells.

“Of course I do!” Mia yells in reply, “I just don’t want to be some housewife who needs her husband to pay the bills and do everything for her. I need to be able to support myself Tyler.”

“Well it seems like you don’t want this as much as I do,” Tyler accuses.

“That’s not fair Ty,” Mia snaps, “I’m doing the best I can. It’s not my fault that nothing is going right in my life right now.”

“Oh well, if NOTHING is going right for you then what are we even doing here?” Tyler shouts harshly.

“That’s not what I meant Ty,” Mia tries to explain, “You’re the only thing in my life that I can count on right now.”

“Well it sure as hell doesn’t feel that way!” Tyler responds in frustration. “You know, everything was fine before you went on that trip to Europe with Olivia. I told you I had a bad feeling about that trip!”

“That’s not fair!” Mia declares.

“No, what’s not fair,” Tyler continues, “is that you keep making these massive decisions about our future without including me! I’m in this relationship too Amelia.”

“I’m sorry,” Mia says, voice dropping as the fight leaves her as quickly as it mounted, “I know this can’t be easy on you either. I just need you to support me through this.”

Tyler’s anger crumbles as he sees tears cloud his fiancé’s eyes.

“Of course I’ll support you,” he promises as he gathers in his arms.

xXx

Mia stays the night before driving home the following day. She leaves with a lighter heart, believing that they have made it to the other side of this rocky patch in their relationship.


	8. ~AUTUM 2014 [PART 1]~

“I missed you,” Mia admits as she hugs Tyler 3 weeks later. They’re standing in the middle of Bendigo, the next town over from Mia’s hometown and Tyler is getting ready to race around a closed-off street circuit in the town centre.

“Missed you too,” he replies as he pulls back from the hug and climbs onto his bike.

“Good luck,” Mia smiles and kisses him on the cheek before he rides away and she goes to stand with her family to watch the race.

“So Mia,” Jess begins half way through the race, “Mum and Dad are coming over for dinner tonight, so if you and Ty wanna come too that would be ok.”

Mia is silent for a moment while she thinks over the offer. She hasn’t really spoken to Jess much since the previous October, but a quick glance at her mother’s encouraging expression solidifies her answer.

“That sounds great,” she replies with an almost genuine smile.

xXx

Two hours later they are all sitting around Jess and Dylan’s dining table having just finished eating. The evening goes by without incident until Jess’s oldest step-son, Nick, says something she doesn’t agree with.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jess spits, “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

In response Nick leaves the room, clearly upset by his step-mothers words.

“He always does that,” Nick younger brother says under his breath to Mia, “He just storms off.”

“Of course he left,” Mia replies, “He was just attacked for having an opinion. Is he supposed to just sit here and take that?”

“Oh please Amelia,” Jess sighs, “Enlighten us with your abundance of parenting knowledge.”

“I never claimed to have any parenting knowledge,” Mia replies quietly, “I was just saying Nick’s response was perfectly justifiable.”

“Well what gives you the right?” Jess spits angrily, as the rest of the table look on in silence. “What gives you the right to come into my house and interfere with my family?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Mia stammers.

“Well you can get back on your high horse and get the fuck out of my house,” Jess yells and Mia is shocked by the venom in her voice.

“Ok, why don’t we all just calm down and talk about this,” Tyler interrupts.

“You can stay the fuck out of this Tyler,” Jess yells before turning back to her sister, “I thought I told you to get out of my house.”

“Oh don’t worry,” Mia spits back, “I’m leaving. There’s no way I’m going to sit here and let you attack me or Tyler. I don’t know what I’ve done to make you think I’m some villain Jess but I am so done with all your shit.”

At that Mia stands abruptly, and with Tyler in tow, she storms from the house and out to her car.

xXx

The next two days are spent at the cycling track for the annual Madison Carnival and Mia avoids her sister all weekend. Things are strained between her family and she spends most of the two days trying to smooth things over with her parents. As such, it’s not until Sunday night when everyone is preparing to head home that she finally has a moment to reflect on Tyler’s behaviour over the past two days.

xXx

Mia had known something was wrong all weekend. Tyler had been acting differently towards her, more distant. So she’s concerned as she approaches his car where he and Scott are loading the last of their things in the car.

“Hey,” she says as she leans against the side of the car.

“Hey,” Tyler replies back before turning to Scott, “Scotty could you give us a minute mate?”

Scott nods and walks over to the team bus where everyone else is loading their bags and bikes.

“We’re ok, right?” Mia asks quietly as Tyler closes the back of the wagon. He’s silent for just a moment too long and without him saying a word she knows.

“I can’t do this anymore, Amelia,” he admits without meeting her gaze.

“Please don’t do this Tyler,” she begs. “Please don’t throw it all away. I love you. We can make this work.”

“No, Mia we can’t. I can’t,” Tyler replies, still not meeting her gaze. “I’m sorry but you’re not the same girl I fell in love with.”

Mia stands in shocked silence as she watches Tyler turn and open the car door. Tears are building in the corners of her eyes, when he finally looks at her.

“I’m still me,” Mia whispers, voice raw with the pain she feels tearing at her chest. “I still love you.”

“I know,” Tyler replies, “But I don’t see a future with you anymore.”

Without another word he climbs into the car and drives over to stop beside Scott. Mia’s frozen where she stands in the quickly emptying car park as Scott looks back at her in confusion. In the darkness he can’t see the tears that begin to roll down her face and he throws a quick wave towards her before he climbs into the car and then they’re gone.

Mia is still standing in that same spot, staring at where the tail lights disappeared around the corner when Tim finds her.

“There you are,” he says as he walks towards her, “Did the boys head off already?”

He stops in front of her when he notices the tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Mia?” he asks with concern. “Bubs, what’s wrong?”

She doesn’t reply, doesn’t trust her voice, so she just throws herself into her father’s arms.

They stand there in the carpark for a long time before Tim ushers them towards their car and drives them home. He spends the entire drive glancing towards he daughter, worry growing as she continues to remain silent, the tears continue to roll and half way home they turn to gut wrenching sobs.

xXx

She doesn’t speak until the following evening when both of her parents are sitting on her bed where she is curled up in a tight ball in the darkness.

“Mia?” Mary whispers quietly, “Please talk to us sweetheart. You’re scaring us.”

“He left,’ Mia chokes out, a fresh wave of tears falling from her eyes.

Mary and Tim share a concerned look before turning their attention back to their daughter.

“What do you mean?” Tim asks in confusion, “You’ve never reacted like this when Ty’s gone home before.”

Mia sits up in the bed suddenly, startling her parents.

“No, he left!” Mia yells through the tears, “He left ME!”

Mia begins sobbing again and struggles to breathe as her parents both pull her to them.


	9. ~AUTUM 2014 [PART 2]~

Tim watches his daughter with a concerned expression. She’s sleeping, although passed out is probably a better description. He can’t remember seeing her sober over the course of the last week and he’s worried. She’s lying sprawled over the couch with two empty tequila bottles lying on the floor beside her. He sighs deeply with concern, before placing a blanket over her and then leaving for work.

xXx

A few days later Mia is sitting in the Emergency Department waiting room. She’s drunk out of her mind and is leaning into her mother’s side as they wait.

“Family of Tim Baker?” a nurse calls out and Mary quickly stands. She helps Mia to her feet and they follow the nurse to where Tim is lying in a curtained off bed in the ER.

He smiles at them from where he’s sitting, propped up on pillows.

“How are you feeling Dad?” Mia asks as Mary sits down in the only seat in the little room.

“Not too bad,” Tim replies, motioning for Mia to sit at the foot of his bed. She does, trying not to jostle the bed or her dad. “They’ve got me on some pretty amazing painkillers so it doesn’t hurt that much anymore.”

“What happened?” Mary questions, “Jess just said that you crashed in the middle of a race.”

“Yeah,” he sighs in reply, “it was just a stupid crash, someone clipped a wheel in front of me and I had nowhere to go. The doctors said I’ve broken a few ribs, cracked my shoulder blade and my pelvis. They want to operate tonight.”

They wait for hours and by the time the doctors are ready to take Tim through to the operating theatre, Mia has fallen asleep on the end of Tim’s bed. Mary gently shakes her awake and takes her home with a promise to return in the morning.

xXx

Tim is released from the hospital 4 days later and is put on bed rest.

Mia continues to drink and both Mary and Tim continue to worry about their daughter.

xXx

In the weeks that follow, Mia finds herself counting down the hours until her parents are asleep and the house falls silent. It’s usually around 3am when she quietly slips from the house. It’s her favourite time when it feels like the whole world is asleep and she can’t feel any concerned eyes on her. She knows they mean well, that they’re simply worried, but she feels like she’s slowly suffocating on their concern. It’s why she loves the cold darkness before dawn, when the stars are her only companion, when the alcohol provides the pure feeling of being numb, when she can’t feel, think or hear and all that’s left behind is peace. As she walks away from her house she trudges towards the awaiting darkness of the nearby bushland. In the blackness under the trees she follows the familiar path through the brush, tripping occasionally as she swigs from the bottle of vodka she carries. She walks uphill through the trees for half an hour before she reaches her destination. At the crest of the hill the ground falls away abruptly. Mia spends night after night sitting out on the cliff edge with nothing but space surrounding her. She would only have to lean forward ever so slightly to plummet towards the ground below but she never considers it. Even in her darkest moments that isn’t what she wants. All she wants is to silence her thoughts and to be numb. She finds that relief at the bottom of a bottle and in the vacant space around her in the emptiness of the night. As she sits on the cliff edge she feels the crushing weight of grief lift from her heart.

Because grief is what she feels, despite how others want to tell her she feels heartbroken, or lonely, or lost, she knows it’s grief. It is grief for someone that has died and that someone is her. The person she was has grown to be over the last decade died in that parking lot as Tyler’s taillights had disappeared from sight. She died and all he has left behind is an empty husk of a girl.

Despite the peace she finds there every night she knows her parents will be terrified if they knew, so before the sky begins to lighten with the coming dawn, she makes her way back home and sneaks back into her bed before her parents wake to find her gone.

xXx

It’s been a little over two months since the crash and Tim is up and walking around, although he’s not allowed to drive so he is still housebound. He hasn’t been sleeping well so he knows that Mia has been sneaking out of the house late at night and although he doesn’t know where she goes he knows that every night she comes home before the dawn so he lies awake and waits. On this particular morning he had heard her return a little before 5am before she passed out, so he knows she won’t be waking up anytime soon. He checks the clock as he pulls out his phone and scrolls through his contacts. It 9:30 in the morning when he hits dial.

As he listens to the phone ring he considers hanging up. He’d promised Mary he wouldn’t intervene. He’d promised they would let Mia sort this out herself, but that was two months ago, before the drinking began, before the mysterious late night walks. He’d made that promise the night Mia told them that Tyler had called off the wedding. They’d stayed up for hours discussing what to do. They knew Mia would struggle, but they agreed to give her space and stay out of the situation.

Tim has been considering making this call for days now, he needs to act. He needs to help his daughter and the first step in doing that is to find out what is happening.

“Tim?” Scott asks cautiously, he voice is timid when he finally answers the call.

“Hey Scott,” Tim sighs; he’d half expected the younger man to ignore his call. They’re both silent for a moment, neither sure what to say. Finally it’s Scott that breaks the silence.

“Is she doing ok, Tim?” he asks nervously.

“No, Scotty, She’s not,” Tim admits. “She’s drinking pretty heavily and she only sobers up when she needs to go to work or drive me somewhere, which isn’t all that often. I’m not sure what I can do to help her because I still don’t fully understand what happened. That’s why I called.”

“I’m not sure how helpful I can be,” Scott sighs. “I still don’t really understand what happened myself. He refuses to talk about it, and shuts me out if I bring it up or mention her name.”

“He’s not coming back this time, is he?” Tim asks with a sigh.

“I don’t think so,” Scott replies sadly, “I think they’re done for good this time.”

They talk for a little longer before hanging up and Tim waits for Mia to wake up.

He’s sitting at the dining table when Mia stumbles into the kitchen at lunch time.

“Amelia,” Tim begins, “can you sit down please? I need to talk to you.”

Mia looks at him questioningly but sits down without objection.

“I can’t imagine what you’re going through,” he starts, “and I know you’re doing the best you can to get through this but at some point you have to snap out of this fog you’re in and start living your life again.”

Tim pauses but Mia remains silent, staring at him sadly as she waits for him to continue.

“You’re lost right now and I understand that but you need to make some kind of plan for yourself. Please sweetheart,” he begs, “we are just really worried about you and I’m scared of what will happen if you keep drinking the way you are.”

Without a word Mia stands and walks towards the back door, she picks up a bottle of scotch as she passes the liquor cabinet. She walks through the bush to the edge of her cliff and sits down.

It offers her none of the peace it usually does, the sun is too bright and she’s too sober to find what she’s looking for out on the ledge.

While she doesn’t find what she wants, she finds what she needs as she sits with the half full bottle of scotch on the ground beside her. In the glare of the cold April sun she realises the truth of her father’s words. She doesn’t need anyone to tell her that Tyler isn’t coming back, she knows he won’t. As much as she wishes it wasn’t true she knows she can’t fix them and that she needs to move on. Likewise she knows that the situation with her sister is perminately broken and irreparable.

Sitting there, looking out over the canopy of the tree tops, she makes a decision. She’s leaving this place. She doesn’t know where she’ll go, only knows that she needs to go far enough that people won’t know who she is or what she’s been through.

She returns home and says nothing of her plan as she researches her options.

xXx

When she’s finally sitting in front of her parents with her plan, she’s been sober for four days and is feeling the damaging pull of the bottle.

“I’m leaving,” she tells them calmly, “and I know you want to stop me but I want to remind you that I am an adult and ultimately I will do this with or without your support, however I would rather have you on my side.”

She pauses for breath and Tim and Mary wait quietly for her to continue.

“I need some time and space to put myself back together and work out who I am on my own and I’m sorry but I can’t do that here. I can’t be around Jess right now, that situation is only going to get worse if we are forced to be around each other and I need to surround myself with people who don’t know me or my story.”

Tim takes the opportunity to speak as Mia pauses to collect her thoughts.

“Where are you going and with what money?” he asks calmly.

“I’m going to London to work as a nanny and as far as money goes I will be living with a host family with bills, board and meals included. All I need to do is pay for a visa and the airfare to get there. I spoke with Glenn and Helen and they won’t let me give back the money they spent on deposits for the wedding and I intend to sell the ring.”

“Are you sure about this?” Mary questions when Mia finishes, her voice is laced with concern as she watches her daughter carefully.

“Yes,” Mia replies confidently, “I need this.”

“Ok then,” Mary agrees, still worried that her daughter is making a terrible decision.


	10. ~WINTER & SPRING 2014 [UK AUTUMN]~

“YOU’RE MOVING TO LONDON?!” Olivia yelps.

“Yep,” Mia replies calmly.

They’re sitting on the couch in Liv’s house and Mia waits quietly as her best friend processes her bomb shell.

“Shit,” she says finally, breaking the silence.

“I just need some space, you know?” Mia explains, “Get away from everything that’s happened because I don’t know how to put myself back together with everyone standing around, waiting for me to break.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Liv nods, “doesn’t mean I’m not gonna miss you though.”

“I’m gonna miss you too,” Mia promises with a sad smile, “but it’s only two years and you can come over for a holiday at some point.”

“God I hate him!” Liv curses.

“It’s not just him, it’s Jess too. Things are just a mess right now.”

“Yeah, well I hate your sister too,” Liv replies, honestly.

Both girls fall quiet, unsure what more there is to say. They turn on the TV to fill the silence and spend the rest of the day watching it, simply happy to spend time together now that the days are limited.

xXx

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Ok, not exactly the vote of confidence I was hoping for Cory,” Mia replies bitterly.

“Hey I’m just saying that it sounds like you’re running away!” Cory replies.

Mia remains silent as she stares at her friend as they sit in his living room,

“Of course I’m running away!” she chokes out, “I want a fresh start! I need to start over.”

“You don’t have to move continents to start over,” he counters, “I didn’t.”

“Don’t even try to pretend that our situations are the same Cory!” Mia warns, “All you did was wait until you were twenty to move out of your parents’ house. Without a job I might add.”

“Well I’m sorry I don’t have a tragic back story like you!” Cory yells, “But I’m just trying to help!”

“By telling me what a giant mistake I’m making?”

“I never said that Mia!”

“You never had to, it’s written all over your face Cory!”

“Look, all I’m saying is that I don’t think it’s healthy to run away from your problems,” Cory explains.

“What?” Mia scoffs, “and drinking myself into liver failure is a healthier alternative?”

“Of course not! It’s just that it’s my job as your friend to tell you the things that you don’t want to hear!”

“Well then consider yourself fired!” Mia spits as she stands and storms for the door.

“MIA!” Cory yells after her.

“I needed your support!” she yells, turning back toward where her friend is still sitting on the couch, “I don’t need your criticism!”

She pulls open the door and walks out to her car without waiting for him to reply.

xXx

In the beginning of July, a few weeks after Mia told her friends and family about her plans to move, everyone seems to be adjusting to the news. Some had reacted similarly to Cory, bust most had been supportive.

“Which exit do we need?” Liv asks, pulling Mia out of her thoughts.

“The one at the Cheese Stick,” she replies, looking over at her best friend in the driver’s seat of the car.

“The what?” Liv laughs.

“The Cheese Stick,” Mia repeats. You know the huge yellow pillar that leans out over the road? That’s what it’s called.”

“I never knew that,” Liv admits.

“Well now you do!” Mia laughs, poking her tongue out as Liv rolls her eyes.

“Wait there’s a car park up there on the left,” Mia points out 20 minutes later.

“That’ll do,” Liv declares happily as she pulls the car into the parking complex. Liv quickly finds an empty space and pulls the car into it. As both girls climb out she turns to Mia with a large grin splitting her face.

“This is gonna be an awesome weekend!” she declares.

Mia returns her grin before pointing towards the elevator and calling out dramatically “To ComicCon!”

xXx

“Who is gonna do all these nerdy things with me if you leave?” Liv asks as they stand in the convention centre the following day. They are looking down on the stalls and the crowd of the main hall from where they lean against the handrail of the mezzanine balcony above.

“You’ll survive,” Mia promises quietly.

“Yeah, I will, but what about you?” Liv questions, “What are you gonna do without me?”

Mia chuckles and then sighs dramatically, “Gosh, however will I survive the crushing ache that your absence will bring?” Both girls laugh before Mia replies more seriously. “But honestly I’ve already kind of made some friends over there. I joined the London chapter for the Nerdfighters a few weeks ago and they’re super nice.”

“The London chapter for the what?” Liv replies, face screwed up in confusion.

“Nerdfighters,” Mia repeats, “Remember when we went to London last year and while we were at LeakyCon that guy came up to me and was telling me about his brother and him and their YouTube channel?”

“The singer?” Liv responds with dawning recognition, “Hank something.”

“Green,” Mia nods, “Yeah that’s the one, Well anyway there’s this community of people that watch their vlogs and they call themselves Nerdfighters because they are nerds that fight for world equality and to decrease World Suck. There are groups all over the world and I joined the Australian one when we got home last year. So now when I get to London I can go to their events and hopefully make myself some friends.”

“Sounds cool,” Liv smiles, before looking at her watch. “We should go get a seat for Dean O’Gorman’s panel and then once that’s finished we can head home.”

Mia nods in reply and both girls turn and walk down the hallway.

xXx

It’s late July and Mia is currently sitting on a train to Melbourne. It’s a 2 hour trip but when she finally arrives, she steps out onto the busy city street and smiles broadly. Despite being born and raised in the country, or perhaps because of it, Mia has always loved the city. She loves the busy crowds hurrying along the footpaths and the endless noise of people and traffic and life. She smiles even brighter as she takes in the sunshine warming the mid-winter day.

An hour later Mia exits an office building and walks back out onto the bustling urban streets. She pulls out her phone as she walks and opens Facebook.

**Well my visa application has officially been lodged.**

**Now all I have to do is wait for it to be approved and wait for a family to accept me. As a self-confessed control freak I can admit that having everything out of my hands is terrifying and I foresee many panic attacks and a lot of insecurity over the next month.**

Mia breathes out a nervous sigh as she hits post and then turns towards the train station and makes her way home.

xXx

“Happy Birthday Mia,” Mia’s uncle says in greeting as he hugs his niece.

“Thanks Brett,” She replies gesturing at the overflowing dining table behind her, and with a grin she declares, “Welcome back to the mad house!”

Crammed around the too small family table in Mary and Tim’s house is the entire family. Joining Mia, Mary and Tim, is Jess and Dylan with their three kids, Matt and Krystal, as well as Mia’s only remaining grandparent, Mary’s mother.

Brett joins the group as his kids follow behind him, throwing themselves into Mia’s arms for a giant group hug.

Claire is the last to enter the house and she too pulls Mia into a hug.

“Happy 21st,” she grins. “Whoa! What happened to your hair?”

“Do you like it?” Mia asks as she self-consciously runs her fingers through the short strands of her hair.

Only yesterday she had cut her shoulder length hair back to only a few inches in length and then shaved off one side to only a few millimetres long.

“It’s bold,” Claire offers, “But you’ve always managed to pull off crazy hair in the past so I doubt this will be any different.”

Mia grins warmly at her aunt and they both join their family around the table as Mary begins to lay out dishes of food.

“So Mia,” Dylan says halfway through the meal when there is a lull in the conversations, “What’s the latest news on London?”

Mia swallows her food before grinning at her brother-in-law with excitement.

“Well I went down to Melbourne last week to finalise my Visa application and I had my first interview with a host family a few days ago and another scheduled for next week,” she explains happily.

“So you’re really going?” Jess asks with a pinched expression.

“Yes I’m really going,” Mia replies bluntly and the room is silent for a moment as the sisters stare at each other tensely, neither girl having dealt with their issues from the previous few months.

“Well I think that sounds really exciting!” Claire explains, breaking the tense atmosphere, “and Jess you must be about ready to pop,” she continues, gesturing towards Jess’ prominent baby bump.

“Yeah, end of the month,” Jess replies and with that conversations return to the table and everyone turns back to their food and those sitting around them.

xXx

Three days later Mia is having ‘Happy Birthday’ sung to her again as her friends gather around in Mary and Tim’s backyard. A bonfire is blazing behind the group, providing much needed heat in the cold August night air. The alcohol has been flowing freely for a few hours now, which is also warming the small group of young adults, who are singing loudly and terribly as Mia drunkenly laughs at her gathered friends. As the song ends, Mia struggles to blow out her candles, much to her friend’s amusement. She then cuts the cake with shaking hands and plants a kiss on her father’s cheek when her knife hits to bottom. Mary quickly relieves her heavily intoxicated daughter of the sharp blade clutched in her hand.

As the cake is distributed, Liv calls for the attention of the small crowd.

“Oi Losers,” she shouts, “Listen up!”

Everyone laughs but quickly falls silent when Olivia levels them with a challenging glare.

“I’ve known Mia for many years now and I’m sure everyone here will join me in acknowledging her as our loveable idiot. When she first joined our little group at Bendigo Senior she did so with a bang. She didn’t so much as slot into out crew as she did barrel straight into us and smash a hole big enough for her to fit. She made a space for herself among us and at first we were curious about this out-of-towner from sleepy little Castlemaine, but soon we grew to love her and all her crazy, adventurous ways. For many people when the time comes for graduation, so too does the time to say goodbye to school yard friendships. Thankfully that hasn’t been the case for Mia and I, and over the last three years we’ve only grown closer. From flying to Sydney and back in a day for a Harry Potter exhibition, to travelling to the other side of the world on the trip of a lifetime, we’ve been to, and seen, a lot. She’s my best friend, sorry Ben and Callie...”

“Yeah suck it Ben!” Mia interrupts, “Now you’re the second bestie.”

“… Even if she does interrupt me when I’m trying to be sentimental!” Liv continues, directing a pointed glare at Mia.

“But in all seriousness Mia has been through a lot over the last year. I spent her last birthday with her while we explored London and while I was writing this speech I couldn’t help but remember something she said to me that day. We were standing on the Golden Jubilee Bridge, looking out over the Thames river at the London Eye and Big Ben, and without looking away from that view she said something like this;

_This is the beginning of the rest of our lives Liv. Right now we are at the start of something huge, I can feel it. We are about to see so much of the world over the next few weeks and when we get home everything will change. This is the moment that we will remember when everything changed._

At the time we both thought you meant that we would finally grow up. You had already confided in me that you were leaving your journalism degree and I thought you were referring to that and your impending wedding. Now I can’t help but think that you were right in way that neither of us could have ever predicted. That first day in London made you fall in love with a city on the other side of the planet and you are only weeks away from moving there and beginning a life changing experience that will shape you in ways we can only imagine. Good luck Amelia, and come back to us soon. A happier, healthier version of the woman we have grown to love and adore.”

Mia’s eyes are glassy as she pulls her best friend into an unstable hug and they both laugh as Mia almost pulls them both to the ground.

Not long after the speech, Olivia’s parents wish Mia one last Happy Birthday before leaving, after which Mary and Tim head to bed, leaving Mia and her friends outside, beside the still burning fire.

A few hours later, just after midnight, Mia curses drunkenly as she stares at the broken glass on the ground in front of her. Very carefully she bends over and picks up the largest piece, the entire bottom half of the scotch bottle. As she lifts it off the ground, Olivia walks over.

“Hey what are you doing?” she asks.

Upon hearing Liv, Mia turns towards her and in her drunken state she cuts the inside of her thigh with the glass fragment and curses again.

“Oh Shit!” Liv responds when she sees Mia drop the glass and grab her leg. As Mia pulls her hand back both girls see that it is covered in blood and they both continue to swear. Mia quickly turns and walks inside the house, returning with a tea towel from the kitchen pressed to the gash on her leg.

“Shit,” Liv repeats, “I’ll go get your folks.”

“No,” Mia protests, “It’s fine. Can you just sweep up all this glass please?”

Liv agrees and Mia limps her way through the yard up to the shed and after rummaging around for a while she returns to the fire side and sits down. At this point everyone has noticed that something is happening and while some of the group help Liv clean up the glass, the rest crowd around Mia, questioning her and watching nervously.

While her friends watch, Mia picks up a fishing hook and a pair of wire cutters and removes the barb from the end of hook.

“Is there any of that vodka left?” Mia asks her friends and once the bottle is handed to her she pours some of the contents over the hook to sterilize it. She then sets about trying to thread the fishing line before Leah helps her.

“What are you doing Mia?” she asks as she hands the now threaded hook back to her friend.

“I cut my leg and I’m gonna sew it back together,’ Mia explains calmly. Some of her friends laugh before they realise she is serious, while the rest try to convince her it is a terrible idea.

“It’s fine,’ Mia promises, “I’ve done this before. Dad taught me a few years back.”

She then sets about suturing the gash on her leg and pours more of the vodka over the now sealed wound. She hisses in pain and then reapplies the tea towel and holds it in place with duct tape.

xXx

The following morning, Tim wakes early and after getting dressed for work he heads out to the kitchen for his morning coffee.

As he enters the room he freezes. There is blood all over the floor and when he follows the trail it leads him outside to the back veranda where there is a pool of blood and shards of glass. He follows the blood trail up to the shed and then back again, it seems to end beside the fire and looks at the wire cutters and fishing line in confusion.

He turns to look around the backyard and noticed the dogs curled up around an odd shape in the garden bed, so he walks towards it to investigate.

When he gets closer he huffs a laugh at his daughter passed out in the garden bed with a dog asleep on her chest and the other lying across her face. He frowns in confusion when he notices a tea towel duct taped to her thigh and notices that the tape roll is still connected and hanging from her leg.

“Morning sunshine,” he greets loudly and Mia groans in complaint as she wakes and then flails in an effort to shake off the small dog sprawled across her face.

“What the fuck?” she grumbles as she sits up and holds a hand to the side of her head. She squints up at her father and attempts to glare at him when he chuckles again.

“I was gonna ask the same thing,” Tim replies, “Blood everywhere, you passed out in the garden with a tea towel duct taped to your leg and the rest of your friends are MIA, no pun intended.”

“Firstly, my friends are probably in the bungalow and secondly that tea towel and blood can be explained,” Mia mumbles.

Tim quirks an eyebrow and waits for said explanation.

“I kinda maybe bottled myself a little bit,” mia admits.

In response Tim lets out a full belly laugh and doubles over, clutching his stomach as he howls in amusement.

“You bottled yourself?” He parrots.

“A little,” Mia admits.

“Does it need stiches?” Tim asks, “Because there is blood everywhere.”

“No, not anymore,” Mia replies.

“Ok, well good,” Tim nods, “in that case we should try to get this blood cleaned up before your mother wakes up because she is going to kill us… Wait! Did you say not anymore?”

In lieu of a response, Mia removes the tape and tea towel, showing her backyard sutures to her father.

“Did you do those yourself?” he questions as he inspects the wound and when Mia nods, he looks at her dubiously. “These are flawless. You’re telling me you were so drunk that you sliced open your open thigh but you were sober enough to suture yourself.”

“Yep, adrenaline is really great at sobering me up,” Mia admits, “And before you ask I sterilized everything with Vodka.”

“There’s never a dull moment with you, is there?” Tim laughs.

xXx

Later in the month, Mia is driving north with her friends Liv and Callie. The two cars behind them hold there other friend Ben, his sister and her husband as well as some of Ben’s work mates. They’re on their way up to the state border to go paintballing for Ben’s birthday.

“I got an offer from a family” Mia tells her friends happily.

“Really?” Callie asks from the back seat, “Congrats Mia.”

“Thanks,” she beams.

“What are they like?” Liv questions from where she sits in the passenger seat.

“They sound really amazing,” Mia replies happily, “Three kids, twin five year old boys and a three year old girl. Boys are in school so it’s just me and the little girl during the day and then I have all three of them till 7.”

“Congrats,” Liv responds with a smile and the rest of the car ride passes by with idle chatter and awful singing.

 

“Jesus Christ!” Mia yells an hour later, clutching a hand to the back of her head. “Who the fuck just shot me in the back of the head?”

As she yells, she turns and almost laughs at the comical expression on Liv’s face. She has dropped her weapon and it is swaying from its cable on her waist. She’s staring, wide-eyed at Mia and her hands are covering her mouth in shock.

“I’m so sorry Mia!” she declares as Mia glares.

“We’re on the same team!” Mia accuses and when Liv continues to stare in shock Mia shoots three pellets into her chest in a neat little cluster around her heart. Liv grimaces and then laughs as both girls walk back towards the regeneration area before re-joining the game.

Two hours later the girls are back in the car and as the drive Mia shuffles in the driver’s seat trying to sit comfortably.

“God, this is the worst!” she declares, “I can’t believe Ben shot me the ass!”

Callie and Liv burst out laughing and Mia turns up the volume on the car stereo system in an effort to drown out their mocking chuckles.

xXx

A few days later, Mia is a bundle full of nerves as she enters the UK immigration office again.

“Hello,” she says as she approaches the desk and sits down. “I’m just here to pick up my Visa. The name’s Amelia Baker.”

“Sure thing,” the attendant smiles, “Just sign here.”

Mia signs the paperwork, takes the thick white envelope offered to her and leaves the office with a greatful smile. She fidgets nervously in the elevator down to the ground floor and then walks to the nearby Federation Square. Mia sits down and as she carefully opens the envelope the opening notes of Mayday Parades ‘Florida Sun’ filters through her headphones.

She gently pulls the documentation, putting her passport straight into her handbag to keep it safe before turning her attention back to the stack of papers in her lap. She holds her breath as she begins to read.

**Miss Baker,**

**We regret to inform you that your application has been denied…**

Mia simply stares at the words as the minutes drag by. When she finally snaps out of her fog, she pulls her phone out of her pocket and shoots off a quick text message.

**Mia: Mum, please call me when you go on your lunch break.**

At a loss for what else to do she gathers up her things and begins to slowly walk back towards the station. She’s halfway there when the heavy metal music blasting through her headphones is replaced by the calmer notes of her Paramore ringtone. She quickly rips her earbuds out and answers the call.

“Hey Mumzy,” she answers out of habit.

“What’s wrong?” Mary replies with concern.

“My Visa application was denied and I don’t know what to do,” Mia confesses. Her voice is thick with unshed tears as she talks and she scrub angrily at her eyes with the back of her hand.

“What? Why? How?” Mary stammers in confusion.

“you have to have £1800 in savings and apparently the bank gave me the wrong currency conversion information so I was $200 short,” Mia explains bitterly.

“Ok,” Mary replies hesitantly, “So I’ll give you the $200 and then you can appeal the decision.”

“I can’t,” Mia sighs, “and even if I could it would take too long. I’m supposed to be leaving in a few weeks. At this point my only option is to reapply once I have the right amount and that’s gonna cost me another $500 in fees!”

“It’s ok,” Mary soothes, “We’ll work this all out, ok? just wait till I get home tonight and we will fix this.”

“What if I can’t go mum?” Mia asks with a voice barely above a whisper as she confesses what she’s feared since the moment she read the word ‘denied’. “What do I do with myself if I can’t go to London anymore?”

“Everything is going to be ok Mia. I promise we will get you there!” Mary replies.

“I love you mum,” Mia says.

“I love you too,” Mary responds.

xXx

The month that follows is busy, with Mia travelling back to Melbourne to reapply for her visa and then travelling the state to say goodbye to friends and family. As the end of the month approaches Mia receives the news that her visa has been approved and immediately she books her one way flight to London.

xXx

Tim and Mary stand waiting in the Melbourne International Airport as Mia checks in her luggage.

“I didn’t actually think she would really go,” Mary admits.

“I know what you mean,” Tim agrees, “I thought she’d change her mind.”

Before Mary can answer her husband, Mia returns back to the with a hesitant grin on her face.

“Well I guess this is adios,” she tells them.

“Have fun kiddo and come home safe ok?” Tim says as he pulls his youngest child in for a hug. When they pull apart Mia notices that his eyes are glassy with unshed tears and immediately hers begin to water in reply.

“I will daddio,” she promises as she attempts to hold back the tears, “I love you.”

“I love you too bub,” he replies.

Mia turns to her mother who is also close to tears, “See you later mumzy.”

“See you soon bub,” Mary replies, also pulling Mia close for a hug, “I love you.”

“I love you too Mum,” Mia chokes out and then takes a firm hold of her bags and heads toward security, tears streaming down her face as she walks away from her last link to the home she is leaving far behind.

xXx

More than 24 hours later, Mia is standing in the line for the UK Border Control. She’s sweaty, her pulse is racing and her hands shake with anxiety. She is only minutes away from meeting the family she will be working for and staying with for the next year and it is only now in this moment that the insanity of her entire plan becomes clear to her. In what feels like both hours and seconds, Mia has cleared Border Control, collected her luggage and made her way through Customs. She takes a deep breath as she steps into the arrivals hall and almost immediately spots a woman with three small children, holding signs that read: _‘Welcome to England Mia Baker’_.

The Evan’s family are wonderful and are very welcoming to Mia over the course of her first weeks in London and by the time November rolls around she feels very confident in her decision to move to England. It’s in November that she finally meets with some of the Nerdfighters that she had told Liv about a few months ago.

xXx

Mia is nervous as she exits the Underground at South Kensington and looks around at the crowd rushing past her. Eventually she spots someone she recognises from her interactions with the group online and flashes the Nerdfighter symbol with her hands. The other girl smiles in response and waves her over, so Mia walks towards her and together they find the rest of the small group waiting outside the station.

The evening goes well and Mia meets lots of people who she feels will quickly become good friends. They see a movie and then have dinner together before calling it a night and catching the tube home to their respective areas of the city.


	11. ~WINTER 2014/2015 [PART 1]~

It’s four days before Christmas when Mia’s phone chimes with a Facebook message. She unlocks her phone without looking at the sender and is floored when Tyler’s name lights up the top of her screen.

**Tyler: Hey. How’s London?**

She stares at her phone for long, silent minutes, before locking it, putting it down on the table and turning back to her friends. They’re all sitting in a board game café, loud conversations fill the air and Mia tries to find her place in the game spread out before her. Her phone lights up again with another message.

**Tyler: Sorry, I know that was pretty out of the blue. I just miss hanging out with you. Can we try being friends again?**

**Mia: I’m not sure if that’s a good idea**

**Tyler: I understand. Just give it some thought and if you’re not ready then that’s cool.**

Mia sighs as she puts her phone back on the table.

“Everything ok?” one of her friends ask.

“Yeah, just work stuff,” Mia lies.

xXx

As Christmas approaches, Mia’s host family leave the city to spend the holidays their extended family, leaving Mia alone on the house as the sunsets on Christmas Eve. 2 bottles of wine and 1 and a half movies into a Lord of the Rings movie marathon, Mia calls home in the early hours of the morning as her family are sitting down to their Christmas Lunch.

She talks with her parents and grandmother, and then with her siblings and their partners before hanging up. The moment the call ends, Mia is abruptly aware of the cold and the darkness in the large, empty house around her. She resumes the movie, but misses most of it as she cries quietly, wrapped up in a thick blanket.

Sometime later her phones chimes and she dries her eyes as she quickly taps out her passcode.

**Tyler: Merry Christmas :)**

**Mia: Merry Christmas, Ty. Tell the whole Carter Clan I said Merry Christmas.**

She stares at her phone in apprehension, unsure whether this conversation is a good idea. Ultimately, when Tyler’s next text appears on her screen, she replies out of the need to talk with anyone from home.

**Tyler: Will do. You’re up late… or early. I didn’t expect you to reply until later**

**Mia: Yeah, I woke up really early so I could skype mum and dad and have a chat with grandma**

**Tyler: Oh cool. So what are your plans for Christmas?**

**Mia: Nothing much really. Host family are visiting relatives and I’ve got the house to myself. On a LotR binge and then I’ll go back to sleep.**

**Tyler: Oh cool, must be nice to have the place to yourself :)**

**Mia: A bit lonely to be honest. Feeling a bit homesick now that I’ve talked with the family.**

**Tyler: That’s gotta suck :(**

 

They talk for hours, and dawn rises before Mia decides to get some sleep.

She has the house to herself for the next 4 days and while her friends are spending the holidays with family she has Tyler to keep her company until her host family return and she starts working again.

xXx

It’s New Year’s Eve when Mia’s sitting in front of her computer, staring at her Facebook, conflicted. She’s been a part of the Nerdfighter community for 2 months now and she feels she can trust them enough with at least part of her past, but she is hesitant as she types her confession.

**‘I used to be engaged and the wedding was supposed to be last month but he dumped me.’**

As she reads over their shocked responses, she wonders how much she’s ready to share. London was supposed to be a fresh start but she feels the need to be honest with her new friends. She feels they’ve grown close in the short time they’ve known each other. It’s only right that they know this giant part of her past. Especially now that Tyler and her have decided to try being friends again.

xXx

Days later, Mia finds herself once again in the board game café with the Nerdfighters when her phone chimes.

**Tyler: This week has made me realise that I still love you. Will you give me another chance?**

Mia stares at her phone and for a moment she smiles. ‘ _This is it’_ , she thinks, _‘He’s finally coming back to me’_. The feeling only lasts a moment before it’s replaced by sadness. It’s in that moment that she realises she is no longer the same person she was in Australia. She no longer wants to get him back and she no longer wants the life she had with him.

**Mia: Tyler, I’m sorry, I can’t.**

**Tyler: I know I hurt you but I can change.**

**Mia: That’s not it Ty. I’ve changed. I’m not the same person anymore and I don’t want the same things we wanted.**

**Tyler: Can I call you? Can we just talk about this?**

**Mia: Ty, please don’t**

Mia places her phone back on the table and heaves a deep sigh as it starts to ring, Tyler’s name and face lighting up the screen. She silences it and ignores the call, instead turning her attention back to her friends. She receives another text and unlocks her phone to read it.

**Tyler: I get that you don’t want to talk to me and I’m sorry but I feel like this is something we should really discuss. I need to apologize and I realise that it’s too little, too late, but I know that you’re a good person. Please just answer your phone.**

Mia closes her phone without replying and when she looks back up at the screen she meets the eye of Jake who is sitting next to her at the table.

“Sorry”, he apologizes, “I didn’t mean to read your texts. It just caught my eye. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Not really,” Mia replies as her phone begins to ring again.

Her phone continues to ring and after 10 minutes she excuses herself from the table and walks out of the café and onto the footpath outside.

“What?” she snaps as she answers. “What could you possibly have to say to me?”

“Mia, I’m sorry,” Tyler begins, “I’m so sorry and I just want you to know I regret everything that happened last year.”

There is silence for a moment as Mia feels her eyes grow damp with tears.

“It doesn’t matter,” she tells him, “it doesn’t matter that you’re sorry and regret it. You hurt me and at first I wanted you back, I really did, but I’ve moved on now. I’m not over you and I may never be but I don’t want to go back. I can’t be the girl who wanted to be your wife. That’s not me anymore.”

“Please Mia,” Tyler begs, “after all these years you can’t have changed that much in less than a year. There has to be part of you that still loves me.”

“I don’t want to do this anymore Tyler,” Mia sobs as she begins to cry, “I don’t want to let you make me feel this way anymore. I’m sick of crying over you and what you did to me. I did nothing wrong and you punished me. It wasn’t fair but I got over it, or at least I am getting over it.”

“I love you and I miss you,” Tyler replies.

“No, you don’t. You miss who I was and the future we would have had.”

She continues to argue for a few more minutes before hanging up and turning off her phone. She wipes her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater, before turning and walking back into the café. When she sits back down at the table a few of her friends look over at her but none mention her red, puffy eyes and she is greatful that they allow her to pretend for a little while that everything is fine.

The day is not a complete waste of time as Mia spends the rest of the afternoon talking with another Australian, Ruby, and a Canadian girl, Leighton, and they make plans to have dinner together the following week

xXx

Over the following two weeks Mia spends more and more of her evenings spending time with Ruby and Leighton and she forms amazing friendships with both of them. At the same time, Tyler continues to message her and harass her and the slowly begins to tell Ruby and Leighton about her past and her shared history with Tyler.

Towards the end of January, Mia is shocked to receive an unusual message from her dad.

**Tim: Have you spoken to Tyler today?**

**Mia: No, why?**

**Tim: He won a stage of the tour today and in his speech he said he owed the win to the support of his team, his family, and his girlfriend Mia**

**Mia: Son of a bitch!**

**Tim: So you’re not back with him?**

**Mia: No! We were texting a bit over Christmas but it got weird.**

**Tim: Weird?**

**Mia: It’s nothing. I made my point pretty clear.**

She sees no reason to worry her parents with Tyler’s behaviour, so leaves it at that.

xXx

An hour later, Mia is watching the kids playing after dinner when the first text from Tyler pops up on her phone.

**Tyler: Sorry I’ve been such an ass with you lately. I just really miss you in my life and I regret the decisions I’ve made that led us here**

**Tyler: btw is this Greg guy you keep talking about your new boyfriend?**

Mia rolls her eyes as she types out a quick reply. _‘of course he would assume my boss is my boyfriend’_ she thinks as she hits send.

**Mia: and what would it matter if he was?**

**Tyler: Mia please, I love you. I’m sorry I hurt you but you need to give me another chance.**

Mia realises she is in for a fair bit of a conversation so she quickly checks on the kids and then sits on the bench near where her phone is plugged in to the charger.

**Mia: I have moved passed it Tyler. I’m happy. My life is freaking awesome.**

**Tyler: and I’m so happy for you. I keep up to date with your vlogs and your posts on instagram and I’m so glad that your life is going well. I just want to be able to share it with you again.**

Mia groans as she reads the message and then takes a screen shot of the conversation. She sends the screenshots to Leighton and Ruby.

**Mia: Dear god, I think I’m going to kill someone.**

**Ruby: What a dickhead.**

**Mia: Tell me about it!**

She then returns to her conversation with Tyler and quickly types out her reply.

**Mia: look, obviously I haven’t made myself clear to you. I’m not interested in anyway in getting back together. I’ve built a life for myself here that I really love. I’m glad that your career is going well and I’m happy for all your success, but that being said I don’t appreciate you telling hundreds of people in Adelaide yesterday that I’m your girlfriend. I’m not now nor will I ever be again; your girlfriend, your fiancé or your wife. Do you get that?**

She keeps sending screen captures to her friends and their replies continue to be varying degrees of annoyance and disbelief.

**Leighton: That’s a really good response. Surely he will get it now**

**Ruby: Is this guy mentally challenged or just dumb?**

Mia finds comfort in her friends’ messages and returns to her conversation with Tyler.

**Tyler: the success I’m having on the bike means nothing without someone to share it with. We had a whole life planned out Mia and I miss that**

**Tyler: that house you always loved down near Glenelg pier is for sale. I’m thinking of buying it.**

**Tyler: it’s perfect, just like you said. Close to SASI for me. Close to the CBD for you, a few spare bedrooms and a big backyard for Hamish.**

**Tyler: He misses you too**

This text is accompanied by a photo of Tyler with their dog Hamish and Mia shakes her head as she blows out a frustrated breath.

**Mia: do you really think emotionally blackmailing me with Ham’ is going to win me over?**

**Tyler: I’m sorry, dick move I know but I’m getting desperate here.**

**Mia: you don’t say.**

**Tyler: Ok Ok. I’ll stop messaging you I promise. Just please agree to sit down and talk through this with me when I come to London next week.**

**Mia: Ok, IF, and take note that I said IF, I was to agree to that it’s on my terms. 1) You don’t contact me again between now and then. 2) I pick the place and time. 3) I will tell Scott when and where and I will only meet with you if he is there too. 4) If we talk and I still tell you I’m not interested, you honour that and leave me alone.**

**Tyler: Yes absolutely Amelia. Anything. I just want a chance to talk this out in person.**

**Mia: and 5) if you try anything sketchy or break this agreement. I will forward every message to my dad and let him shoot you with one of his rifles.**

**Mia: and you know my dad. He’ll do it.**

**Tyler: Yeah I’m perfectly aware that Tim already wants to shoot me. He doesn’t really need any more reason.**

**Mia: Finally 6) you stop telling people I’m your girlfriend. Do we have a deal?**

**Tyler: Yes absolutely Mia, thank you so much for giving us another chance. I promise it will be better this time xx**

Mia heaves a sigh of relief as her phone falls silent and quickly sends the girls the last section of the conversation, to which they quickly reply.

**Leighton: WOW!**

**Ruby: OMG! Why are you meeting him? That seems like a terrible idea!**

**Mia: It seems like the only way to end this whole saga.**

**Leighton: That’s fair enough.**


	12. ~WINTER 2015 [PART 2]~

The following day, Mia is out for dinner with Leighton and Ruby, when her phone chimes. She smiles when sees Scott’s face flash onto her screen and she excuses herself from the table to answer it.

“Hey!” She greets her friend with a large grin, and even though he can’t see it, he can hear it in her voice, “What’s up, Scotty?”

“Hey Mia, I just wanted to check in with you and see how you’re doing,” Scott replies.

“I’m good, just out for dinner with some friends. How’s the Tour?” Mia questions.

“It’s going really great, Ty got a win yesterday which put the team in good standings. That’s actually why I’m calling. Did you hear what happened?” Scott asks hesitantly.

“With Ty’ speech? Yeah, dad told me,” Mia explains, “I chewed him out for it yesterday but I agreed to meet him up with him when you guys come to visit. Will you be my backup?”

“Of course! Just tell me when!” Scott promises, “Shit.”

“What?” Mia asks in confusion. There’s muffled voices on the other end of the line.

“Mate don’t…” Scott says to someone else, “This is awkward enough…”

“Scott?” Mia questions.

“Mia, sorry,” Scott apologizes, “It’s Tyler. He wants to talk to you.”

“Scott do NOT give him your phone!” Mia warns.

“I won’t Mia,” Scott promises, “Ty fuck off! She doesn’t want to talk to you mate!”

“Scott I’m gonna go. Good luck in the race today.”

“Mia?” Tyler asks after he has obviously gotten Scott’s phone away from him. Mia ends the call without speaking a word.

“…Everything, ok?” Ruby asks, as Mia sits back down at the table.

“I don’t know,” Mia sighs, “I just wish he’d get the message, you know?”

“Tyler? I’m sure he will after you talk to him while he’s here,” Leighton promises.

xXx

They finish their meal shortly after and move to a nearby pub for a few drinks. After Ruby returns to the table with their second round Mia’s phone starts to ring with an unfamiliar Australian number lighting the screen.

“Hello, Amelia speaking.”

“Mia, it’s Ben Grimes. Can you tell me what the fuck is going on right now?”

“Ummm…. Sorry ,what?” Mia asks questioningly, “I have no idea what you’re talking about Ben.”

“What I’m talking about is that I’ve just had to deal with Scott and Tyler fighting in the middle of a press conference,” Ben replies tensely.

Mia’s jaw drops and Ruby and Leighton direct questioning looks towards her.

“They were fighting?” Mia asks dumbly.

“Yes,” Ben replies, “We’re sitting in a hospital waiting room because Scott just punched Tyler and broke his nose. I’m assuming this is about you, because neither of them are telling me anything.”

“How the hell is this my fault?” Mia asks, “I don’t even live in the country anymore.”

“Where are you?” Ben asks in confusion.

“I live in London now,” Mia explains, “I’ve been here since October. But I think this is probably about Tyler harassing me.”

“Right,” Ben says, almost to himself, “Well I guess I need to go try and sort this mess out.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m really sorry,” Mia offers.

Mia hangs up the phone and turns to the girls in shock.

“Scott punched Tyler in the face during a press conference and broke his nose,” she explains.

“Holy shit!” Ruby replies.

“That’s insane,” Leighton agrees.

“Hang on,” Mia adds, “I’m gonna try and call Scott.”

They all wait quietly while the phone rings. Eventually the call goes to Scott’s voicemail and Mia hangs up without leaving a message. She then starts dialling any numbers she has for the various members of the team, but none of them are answering.

When she finally gets through, it’s to the girlfriend of one of the riders, Josh.

“Hey Tahnee,” Mia greets, “It’s Mia, are you with the boys?”

“Yeah, I am,” She replies, “Hang on and I’ll get you Josh.”

“Josh, hey. What the fuck is going in down there?” Mia asks in lieu of a greeting.

“Hey, Mia,” Josh says, “To be honest , I have no idea. Tyler’s been in a mood for days, if not weeks. He and Scott have been on each other’s case all week. It was really only and matter of time before something like this happened.”

“Really?” Mia asks, “What makes you say that?”

“In all the years I’ve known them, I’ve never seen them fight like this,” Josh admits, “Whatever’s going on with them must be something incredibly important for them to be attacking each other like this.”

Mia swallows against the guilt tightening in her throat before replying in a whisper, “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.

“Do you know why Scott punched him?” Mia asks after a brief silence.

“No, sorry. I wasn’t anywhere near them all morning,” Josh apologizes.

“Could you ask around for me please?” Mia requests.

 

She speaks to most of the team as the phone is passed around from one person to the next, and learns nothing more than Josh had told her until Jack takes the phone.

“Hey Mia,” he says, “It’s Jack.”

“Hey Jack, do you know what happened?”

“No completely but I saw them fighting just before the press conference. Scott was on the phone and Ty seemed to be trying to get it from him, but then they just kind of forgot about the phone and started arguing,” Jack explained. “No idea what they were saying because the kept their voices down which was kind of more intense than if they’d been yelling. Then we went to meet the press and they kept whispering to each other. Any way we were about 10-15 minutes in to the interview and Tyler said something to Scott and he just snapped. If we hadn’t pulled him off Ty, I’m not sure he would have stopped beating him.”

“Are you sure this is the same Tyler and Scotty we’re talking about?” Mia asks disbelievingly.

“I know, it’s crazy. Hang on, Robbie was sitting next to them. I’ll see if he heard what Ty said.”

There is murmuring on the other end of the line before Rob takes the phone from Jack.

“Before you ask, Mia,” Rob says immediately, “ I can’t be 100% sure what happened but I’m pretty sure I heard Ty say someone was a stupid slut and then Scott said something about him being an asshole and that he couldn’t talk about _her_ like that, then he hit him. Not sure who it was they were talking about. Maybe Scott’s got himself a new girlfriend?”

“Thanks Rob,” Mia mumbles, “Is Scott around?”

“Nah, he’s getting yelled at by the directors. Tyler’s here though…” Rob offers.

Mia takes a deep breath, not wanting to talk to her ex-fiancé but knowing it is probably necessary.

“Can you put on the phone please?” Mia sighs.

She ignores the looks she is receiving from Ruby and Leighton as she waits for Tyler to answer.

“Mia, please let me explain?” Tyler says in a rush the moment he answers the phone.

“No!” Mia cuts in, “You listen very carefully Tyler. I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to fucking say to you at this point. You’re delusional and out of control. Surely some part of you must realise that it’s over and we can’t come back from this. Why can’t you stop torturing me? Actually don’t answer that. I don’t care. Goodbye Tyler”

Before he could formulate a response Mia ends the call and not too gently beat her forehead on the table top in front of her.

xXx

The following day Mia is still reeling from the events of the previous night when she receives a text from Tyler’s sister.

**Lizzie: Hey there lovely, long time no see. Hope you’re well. Not sure if you heard what happened at the TDU yesterday but I spoke with your dad and Jess after and they seemed pretty pissed off on your behalf. Sorry if my brother is being a complete creeper to you. I’m happy to punch him in the face if you want. Enjoy London, very jealous of you.**

Mia stares at the screen and thinks for a while before she replies.

**Mia: Hey Liz, yeah I definitely heard about it. This whole situation is ridiculous. I think he’s been punched sufficiently for now but I appreciate the offer :) how are you and the rest of the family dealing with it all?**

**Lizzie: Things are very tense but I’m sure it will work out. The boys are in serious trouble with the academy directors. They spent a lot of money keeping the journalists from reporting on the fight. They will probably getting suspended from the team or something over this. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.**

Mia closes her phone without replying and tries to put the whole mess to the back of her mind for the rest of the day.

                xXx

Later that evening, after Mia finishes work, she opens skype on her laptop and calls Tyler.

“Mia?” Tyler answers, hope and excitement, lighting up his face and lifting his voice.

“Don’t,” Mia warns, “Don’t expect this to be anything to give you hope Tyler. Is it true that Scott could get suspended over this?”

“Yeah,” Tyler admits as his expression darkens to one of guilt, regret and shame. “You have to believe that I never intended for this to happen. “

“Well it did happen!” Mia spits in anger. “Honestly what did you expect? Did you really think he would just stand by idly while you slowly tortured me? While you harassed and insulted me? You are the only one to blame for everything that is happening!”

“Tortured?” Tyler echoes, voice broken and hollow.

“Yes Tyler, tortured,” Mia replies, “I can’t sleep. Every time my phone buzzes I jump or flinch because I’m terrified it’s you again. I feel constantly haunted by you and it’s killing me. I can’t do this anymore, you need to stop!”

“I’m so sorry, Mia!” Tyler sobs.

“Don’t be sorry, fix it! You tell the academy whatever you need to tell them to make sure Scott’s career isn’t ruined because he defended me. You owe us both that much!”

Tyler nods as she speaks, “I will Mia, I promise I will!”

“Good,” Mia says, ending the call.

xXx

Two days later, Mia finds herself writing a statement to be submitted at the disciplinary hearing for the boys. She writes of everything that has happened over the last 10 months and of the nightmare she has found herself living in, over the previous few weeks. When she comes to the end of her tale she concludes with a plea for Scott to avoid severe reprimand as he had only done what a true friend and any moral person would have done. She attaches it to an email and waits.

xXx

The following say she receives a reply requesting a phone interview to be held during the hearing on Tuesday morning, which will be late Monday evening for Mia. She accepts and wonders anxiously what more they could possibly hope or expect for her to tell them, but she feels she owes Scott and vows to do anything she can to repay her friend.


	13. ~WINTER 2015 [PART 3]~

After Mia finishes work on Monday evening, it’s Australia Day so she finds herself in a pub in the city with Ruby, Leighton and some of their fellow Nerdfighters to celebrate.

She has one drink to settle her nerves and is laughing and dancing with her friends when the phone rings. She quickly runs outside into the cold and answers the call.

“Hello, Amelia Baker speaking,” she says.

She’s shivering by the time she works back inside an hour later.

“How did it go?” Leighton asks quietly when Mia re-joins the group.

“Good, I think,” Mia admits, “They seemed to really listen to what I had to say. Apparently we should have a verdict tomorrow.”

Ruby places a drink in her hand with a supportive smile and Mia quickly downs half the drink and pushes the call to the pack of her mind.

xXx

Mia stands in the playground, the next day, as she waits to pick up the kids from school. She squints in confusion when a notification pops up to inform her that she has an email from Helen, Tyler’s mum. Hesitantly she opens it and begins to read.

**A LONG OVERDUE APOLOGY**

**Hello Mia,**

**I know we haven’t spoken in a long time and for that I am sorry. I felt that I had to stand by Tyler when you broke up and I’m sorry for cutting ties with you. You’ve been a member of this family for so many years and I considered you like a daughter long before you started dating Tyler. You and Scott are as much my children as Tyler, Liz, and Nathan and I’m sorry for forgetting that. I have to admit that I blamed you for what happened between the boys last week and I was shocked to hear your statement read out during the disciplinary hearing yesterday. I had no idea what Tyler had been putting you through over the past weeks and I am so ashamed that he has continued to hurt you. I’m sure that you moved to London in an effort to put what happened behind you and I’m sorry that he hasn’t allowed you to move past it and heal.**

**I supported him when he left you even though I knew he was making a huge mistake because it was my job as a parent to let him make his own mistakes and learn from them.**

**I just want you to know that I don’t blame you for anything that has happened and whatever the outcome of the hearing, you shouldn’t blame yourself. I know both boys are worried that you are feeling guilty over the impact this will have on their careers and you shouldn’t. Even if they don’t act like it most of the time, they are grown men and are responsible for their own actions. I have told Ty to leave you be and to let you move on with your life and I hope that he listens.**

**If you ever come back to Australia know that you are always welcome at our table.**

**Much love**

**Helen**

 

Mia wipes her eyes when she finishes reading and clears her throat. After checking that the boys are still in class, she quickly copies the email and sends it to Ruby and Leighton.

**Mia: Legit crying right now over this email Tyler’s mum just sent me.**

**Ruby: OMG, that’s really sweet of her to send that.**

**Mia: I know right! She’s amazing.**

xXx

The following day, Mia receives another email from the other woman in the Carter family. Mia smiles when she sees Lizzie’s name as the sender and the subject line simply reads: So…

**We just got the decision from the hearing but first let me give the details I know you are dying for ;)**

**So Tyler gave his statement first and holy shit did he surprise the lot of us. He said that he was completely at fault for what happened and that Scott shouldn’t be penalized. I’m guessing you had something to do with that confession. You’ve always been able to convince my brother to do things he didn’t want to do. So anyway Scott made a statement how he knew his actions were unprofessional and that he was deeply sorry for any ramifications towards the sponsors and the team. Then they read out your statement and Jesus Christ, you did good, girly. Scott just sat there in silence nodding occasionally and mum and I were just getting angry. But Tyler’s reaction had everyone’s attention. You made him cry with what you said about feeling unable to escape him and that you felt cornered by him because you felt he was forcing you into meeting him when we come to London. Like he was full on sobbing into his hands! I think he’s finally got it through his thick head that he’s hurt you. I think he finally gets it because he looked absolutely gutted when they took a recess to call you, and after that Tim and Ben had their say on how it affects the team and then the board said that they would retire to make their decision.**

**Anyway we got the call about 10 minutes ago. Scotty is still a member of SASI and will face in house disciplinary action (probs just not be put on the team for the next few race meets or something) and Ty will remain with SASI until the end of the season to save face and then his contract will be terminated. I’m sure you’re happy that karma is biting him in the ass but I’m kinda worried about him Mia. He can pretty much kiss Rio goodbye now and I know it’s his fault but it still sucks to see him so miserable.**

**Mum absolutely tore shreds off him yesterday when he got home. She was so mad. She loves you and I don’t think she realised what was really going on until she heard your statement. She said she emailed you, what’d she say?**

**Anyway, that’s everything on our end. Hope you’re doing ok. We all miss you round the track. See you in a few days.**

**Love you Chickie xxx**

Once again, Mia takes a screen shot of the email and sends it to the girls.

**Leighton: That’s so insane! I can’t believe that result.**

**Ruby: Ditto, although I’m really glad that asshole is getting what’s coming to him.**

**Mia: I just hope it’s over**

xXx

Mia’s face lights up with a blinding smile when she spots Liz, Scott and Justin on the other side of the Jubilee Gardens. They’ve yet to see her through the people milling about on the grass between them, so she slowly navigates her way through the families picnicking and the tourists taking photos of the London Eye, keeping her friends in sight. When she’s only a few meters from them she yells Scott’s name and when he hears her, his head whips around quickly and his face splits with a grin to match her own smile.

They stand there for a moment, smiling at each other across the distance, before Mia breaks into a run and launches herself into Scott’s arms. He embraces her tightly, easily lifting her off the ground and she pressed her face into his neck.

“I missed you so much,” Mia admits as the two friends pull apart.

“Me too, Mia. Me too,” Scott replies.

Mia then turns to Liz and Justin and hugs them in turn before looping her arm through Scotts’ and leading the group across the grass, towards the line for the London Eye.

“So how is everything over here?” Justin asks as they wait in the quickly moving line.

“It’s really amazing, Justin,” Mia replies with a smile, “It’s exactly what I needed.”

The trio nod solemnly at her words and Scott gives her shoulders a squeeze from where his arm his draped across them.

“How are you with all that, by the way?” Liz asks quietly as they hand over their tickets and then smile for a photo in front of a green screen.

“I’m alright,” Mia replies casually, but the looks she receives from her friends tell her that they don’t believe her. “Ok, I’m not alright,” she admits.

They all step into the waiting capsule with 9 other tourists and as the door closes behind them she turns to face them.

“Honestly, how could I possibly be ok? This whole situation is so messed up! I moved here for a fresh start and he’s taken that away from me. This last month has been hell and I’m just so exhausted. I want it to be over, you know? He’s constantly there and I can’t escape him. Did you know that a guy kissed me the other day? And he was really cute, but now I have to tell him I can’t date him because Tyler has me so fucked up that it wouldn’t be fair to drag this guy into the shit-storm that is my life now.”

Liz pulls Mia into a hug and she is greatful when Scott changes the topic by drawing their attention to the view of London spread out before them.

After the Eye, they avoid the topic of Ty while they walk through the streets London, through Trafalgar Square and Piccadilly Circus and then up along Regents and Oxford Streets before finding a nice restaurant for dinner in Soho.

Once dinner is over, the group slowly walk through the city to the hotel where Scott, Justin and Liz are staying for the night.

They say goodnight and Justin and Liz make their way inside while Scott remains outside with Mia.

“You know I never wanted this to happen, right?” Scott murmurs once they’re alone.

“Scott,” Mia sighs, voice misting in the cold winter evening air. She pulls her coat tighter around her as she looks at the pained expression on her friends face. “You didn’t cause this,” she promises.

“But I should have stopped him,” Scott explains.

“Scott, you didn’t even know about the texts and phone calls until I told you about them a fortnight ago,” Mia says in Scott’s defence.

“I meant I should have stopped him from leaving you!” Scott yells in frustration, “Then one of my best friends wouldn’t have had to run half a world away and you’d be happy now and everything would be the way it was meant to be!”

“No, it wouldn’t,” Mia says quietly, at odds with the volume of Scott’s pained voice. “If the last month has taught me anything, it’s that Tyler is not the man I though he was and he’s certainly not the sort of husband I want. Besides, it wasn’t just him I was running from when I came here Scotty. You know things with my family were strained. I needed this, not because of him, but because I owed it to myself to find out who I was without all that shit defining me. And I have, Scott, I finally think I found me, as cheesy as that sounds. I’m happy Scotty, despite all this Tyler crap, I’m really happy here. So don’t apologize for anything.”

“Well there’s one thing I do need to apologize for,” Scott says, pulling an envelope from his pocket. “He begged me to give this to you.”

Mia takes the envelope and sees her name scrawled across it in Tylers’ familiar hand writing.

“Thanks Scotty,” Mia whispers, “Have fun in Europe, ok.”

She quickly hugs him and then walks away, clutching the letter tightly in her hand.

xXx

It’s only once she’s sitting on the tube home that she opens the envelope and looks at the letter inside. It’s not long and for that she is greatful.

The contents is much the same as the messages Tyler has been sending her for weeks. His words tell her of his guilt and shame over his actions and he begs for her forgiveness.

Once Mia returns home, she grabs a red marker and scrawls across the page, over Tyler’s words, in large letters; _I DON’T CARE!_

And in the morning she slides the letter into a new envelope and sends it back to Tyler with no return address.


	14. ~WINTER 2015 [PART 4]~

A week after Justin, Liz and Scott’s visit, Mia is packing her bag to stay at Ruby’s house overnight, when her phone starts to ring and she pulls it out of her pocket. She sighs when she sees Tyler’s name and ignores the call. He calls three more times before she’s leaves the house. As she closes the door behind and swings her bag onto her back, she shoots off a quick text to Ruby.

**Mia: Just leaving the house now, be at yours in about an hour or so.**

She walks toward the tube station and then while sitting in the tube carriage her phone continues to ring but she ignores it. Before long, she receives a text message.

**Tyler: I know I haven’t given you any reason to want to talk to me but I really need to talk to you. Amelia please pick up the phone. I promise this isn’t any kind of trick, I just really need to talk to you.**

She sends off a quick reply before the tube goes underground and she loses reception.

**Mia: Tyler I don’t know how much clearer I can be about this. I’m done with all of this. There’s nothing you can do to fix this so please stop.**

45 minutes later she’s back above ground with reception as she boards a train for the remainder of her journey. Her phone chimes again as she steps onto the train. She sighs as she reads Tyler’s name but opens the message anyway. As she reads, she feels tired. No matter how many times she tells him to leave her alone he won’t. She can’t even feel mad anymore, she’s just exhausted from having to deal with this day after day.

**Tyler: Baby, I get why you’re avoiding my calls. I’d avoid me too in your situation. There’s some stuff that I really need to say to you.**

**I keep thinking about the day we met. Do you remember it? We were racing a TrackNats up in Brissy back in ’02 and your entire field crashed out. Scott and I had only just met two days before and we ended up helping pick up all the bikes and gear off the track while the adults were doing with first aid and the paramedics were arriving. I remember laughing with him because this girl near us was stubbornly telling the paramedics, “I’m fine. I’m fine. Just tell me bike is ok!” Then you took off your helmet and you had that obnoxiously pink hair and Scott turned to me and says, “She is really cool”**

**God he was so right. It’s been 12 years since that crash and I thank god for every day since. I sometimes miss those days as kids, when the three of us would spend school holidays staying at each other’s houses.**

**Life was much simpler then.**

**I miss the nights we would lie in bed together and just talk about whatever. All the plans we made for our future. Of how we’d have the wedding after you finished your final year of uni and you’d move to Adelaide and we’d buy a shitty little house near SASI and renovate it. Then we’d spend summers in Europe when I made a pro team for the Tour de France and you’d take photos and then after a few years when everything settled down a bit we’d have kids; a little boy and a girl, Oliver and Hayley. God Mia, I hate that I took that future away from us. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to go back in time and never leave you.**

**I have so many regrets Mia, and they are all from the last year. I never should have told you I was done. I was an idiot. I told myself that I needed to focus on my career and that if I wanted to make it to Rio, I had to be willing to sacrifice whatever was necessary. I never should have sacrificed what we had. I told myself you were a distraction from my goals, but becoming your husband should have been my most important goal. You mean the world to me Amelia and I could win the Tour de France and it would mean nothing without you by my side.**

**We’ve been through so much together and helped each other through some hard times. You supported me every step of the way to the Olympics in London and you convinced me of my abilities every time I stumbled or started to doubt myself. I was there for you when you lost your grandpa and I still remember every minute we spent in the hospital while you were going through chemo and I would have given anything to make sure you never had to go through that.**

**And then when you needed me the most I walked away. I’ll never forgive myself for not supporting you when you were at your lowest. I know you were scared. You’ve always been so driven and sure of your path in life and when all your plans fell away I should have been there to remind you that you still had us and that everything was going to be okay. I abandoned you and I’ve spent the last 10 months regretting my selfishness.**

**I’ve lost everything Mia: My team, my place in SASI, my family’s respect and my two best friends. You and Scott are the most important people in my life and I’ve driven you both away.**

**Please tell Scott that I don’t blame him. I’m so greatful that he was there for you and stood up for you when I should have.**

**I know you Amelia, I know you will blame yourself for this and I need you to promise me you won’t. This wasn’t your fault and you did nothing wrong. I’m sorry but this is the only way out I see.**

As she reads the words, Mia’s blood runs cold and her breath catches in her throat as she chokes on a sob.

**I’ve made so many mistakes I can’t fix and I just need it all to be over. I hope you move past this Amelia, but I’m terrified you won’t. I’ve watched you struggle for years with what happened to Daniel and I don’t want you to carry my ghost with you as well. You are so caring and you have such a loving heart and beautiful soul. You love deeply and as a consequence you fall so hard. I’m sorry I can’t pick you this time. I hope that the people you have surrounded yourself with in London will be there to support you and I wish you every happiness in the world babe. You are stronger than you know, more beautiful than you will ever believe and smarter than I could ever comprehend.**

**I’m so proud of what you have done for yourself in the last few months. I always knew you had strength and courage and I’m so glad that you realized that in yourself and made such a tremendous change in your life. I know you’re happy in your life now and even if you miss Mary and Tim, what you’re doing is so amazing and it’s such an incredible experience. I’m so proud of you and I just wish I had the chance to see what else your life has in store for you.**

**After all I’ve done I know that I don’t deserve your forgiveness and I won’t ask you for it. All I ask is that you forgive yourself. You deserve to love and be loved and I wish more than anything that you find someone who will worship you like I should have.**

**I will always love you.**

**Tyler**

**xxx**

For a moment Mia simply stares at her phone, unable to believe what the words mean. As tears begin to cloud her eyes, she snaps out her daze and dials Tyler’s number. Her heart begins to beat faster as the phone continues to ring, again and again, uninterrupted until it abruptly stops and is replaced by Tyler’s voice telling her that he’s busy and she needs to leave a message. She hangs up and quickly dials the landline in the Carter home. She’s vaguely aware that it is the early hours of the morning there but she can’t care about that until she knows he’s safe.

“Hello?” a groggy voice answers on the other end of the line.

“Glenn?” Mia asks in a panic when Tylers’ dad answers the phone, “Glenn, it’s Amelia, is Tyler there?”

“He’s in his room, asleep. Mia it’s the middle of the night here sweetheart,” Glenn replies.

“I know, I’m sorry, but you need to go check on Tyler right now!” Mia orders. “Please Glenn, just go wake him up!”

Mia thanks whoever’s listening when she hears Glenn start to walk down the hallway without any further questioning, clearly convinced by the sheer desperation in Mia’s tone. Part of her brain takes note that he must be on the cordless phone as she can still hear him clearly as he moves through the quiet house. She hears him knock gently on what she assumes is Tyler’s door and then there is a pause.

“Just go in! Please Glenn this is important!” Mia almost yells. A few people on the train around her are staring but she doesn’t care, focused as she is on the other end of the line.

“Ty? Buddy, wake up. Mia’s on the phone,” Glenn says. “Ty?”

Mia holds her breath as the silence stretches on.

“Tyler?” Glenn says louder, “TYLER! Oh god. Oh God, no! Tyler wake up!”

“Glenn?” Mia chokes, “Glenn, he sent me a suicide note.”

“No, NO!” Glenn screams. “HELEN! HELEN GET IN HERE!”

“Glenn. He’s gone isn’t he?” Mia whispers.

“Mia, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” Glenn replies, voice broken and empty. “There’re empty pill containers and a bottle of bourbon on the floor. I’m sorry honey, I have to go.”

The line goes dead and Mia feels a part of her die too.

**Mia: I might not be in the most fun mood when I get to yours.**

**Ruby: Why? Are you ok?**

**Mia: No. I’ll explain when I get to yours.**

**Ruby: Ok, I’ll meet you at the station.**

xXx

When Mia gets off the train, Ruby must see something in her face, because she doesn’t ask what’s happened.

“Let’s just go straight to my place,” she offers, leading Mia from the station and across the road.

As they walk, Mia starts to crack and she feels the tears begin to fall from her eyes. Ruby casts a worried glance at her when she begins to sob and by the time they reach her house, Mia is gasping for breath and shaking.

When Ruby gets them upstairs to her room, Mia sits down on the edge of her bed. She’s sobbing hysterically and fighting for breathe through a throat that feels too swollen to work.

“Mia?” Ruby asks, worried for her friend, “Mia, you’ve gotta tell me what happened.”

Mia fights to control her breathing for a moment in an attempt to reply.

“Tyler…” she sobs, “Tyler’s…”

Mia is unable to continue for a moment as she gasps for air and Ruby waits patiently, rubbing her friends back in support.

“What did he do this time?” she asks in a whisper.

“He… He died!” Mia cries.

Ruby sits in shock for a moment before the words sink in.

“HE WHAT?” she bursts.

“He… He killed himself,” Mia sobs.

“Ok, wait right here,” Ruby says before disappearing from the room.

While she’s gone, Mia fights to gain control of herself and when Ruby returns a few minutes later, her breath is more even although the tears are still flowing and the occasional sob escapes her throat.

Ruby sits down on the bed and offers her a cider.

“I’ve got stronger if you need it,” she tells Mia.

“Thanks,” Mia whispers in reply.

They sit in silence for a while, sipping on their drinks and thinking about what to say.

“When did you find out?” Ruby asks gently.

“About an hour ago,” Mia replies.

She passes her phone to her friend and tells her to read Tyler’s message.

Once Ruby reaches the end, she looks up at Mia in shock, tears forming in her eyes.

“Oh Mia,” she whispers, “I’m so sorry.”

“I called his dad,” Mia explains, “and he found him, empty pill containers and a bottle of Whiskey on the floor beside his bed. It doesn’t seem real.”

“His family…” Ruby says quietly, “I can’t imagine what they’re going through.”

“Oh my God!” Mia gasps, “Liz!”

She quickly fumbles with her phone and dials Liz’s number but it rings out, so she tries calling Scott. He picks up after a few rings.

“How may I be of service this evening Miss Baker?” he asks cheerily, and Mia’s breath catches when she realises that he doesn’t know.

“Is… Is Liz there?” she stutters nervously.

“She’s in her room, down the hall,” Scott replies, “Are you ok, Mia?”

“You need to go get her, Scott. There’s something I need to tell you both,” Mia replies.

As she listens to the sounds of Scott moving out into the hallway, Mia notices Ruby frantically typing on her phone but before she can ask, she hears Scott knock on a door and then tell someone, presumably Liz, that he needs to come in.

“OK, Mia,” Scott finally says a few moments later, “you’re on speaker phone, Liz and Justin are here.”

“What’s going on Mia?” Liz asks in confusion.

“I’m so sorry to have to tell you guys this,” Mia begins, “but I’ve just spoke with your dad, Liz and …”

She pauses for a moment and Ruby takes her hand and gently squeezes it in support. Mia takes a deep breath before continuing.

“I’m sorry guys but Tyler killed himself about an hour ago.”

There is only silence in response to Mia’s announcement for long minutes before all three voices speak at once.

“What,” Justin gasps.

“No!” Liz sobs.

“He can’t be,” Scott says in denial.

“I’m sorry,” Mia sobs, “I’m so sorry. He called me and I kept ignoring him and then he sent me his suicide note and I called Glenn and he found him.”

When she finishes speaking, Mia can hear Liz screaming hysterically and Justin trying to calm her. Scott id silent and Mia knows him well enough to be able to picture the blank expression that must be frozen on his face right now as he shuts down against the pain.

“Mia, we’re gonna have to call you back,” Scott finally says, in a voice that is flat and lifeless.

“Ok,” Mia agrees, “I love you guys. Call me when you hear anything.”

“Love you too,” Scott replies, still without any hint of emotion in his voice and Mia worries as he ends the call.

 

“Leighton’s on her way over,” Ruby explains as Mia drops her phone onto the bed beside her. “I filled her in on everything, so you won’t have to explain it all again and she’s bringing ice cream.”

Mia nods and the two finish their drinks in silence until the doorbell rings 10 minutes later and without a word the two girls walk downstairs.

Mia sits down at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, while Ruby opens the front door and lets Leighton in.

“Hey, Mia,” Leighton says quietly as she sits down beside her friend, “I brought ice cream.”

She places the tub on the bench and Ruby places spoons next to it and the pulls out three shot glasses and produces a bottle of vodka from one of the kitchen cabinets.

“I think it’s time to drown the grief,” she declares as she cracks open the bottle.

Half a dozen shots later, Mia slams her fist down on the countertop.

“I hate him!” she declares suddenly. “How dare he do this to us! How dare he do this to me! He’s not just my ex anymore, now he’s my dead ex and how the hell am I supposed to move on from that?”

“We’re here for you,” Leighton tells her, “anything you need, just ask.”

Mia nods and they fall silent again, the only sound is the clicking of shot glasses and spoons as they continue to eat and drink to numb their feelings.

“Can I…” Leighton murmurs, “Can I read it, Mia?”

“Yeah, Yeah, of course,” Mia replies, swiping her phone to pull up the message.

 

“You can tell me to fuck off,” Leighton says once she finishes reading, “but, who is Daniel?”

Mia stares at her empty shot glass and silently refills it before answering Leightons’ question.

“He was a guy I used to know when I was a kid,” she begins. “He was a few years older than me, but I knew him through the cycling club and there weren’t many juniors in my club so we were all friends despite our ages. Anyway, when I was 8, a little over a year before I met Scott and Tyler,” Mia pauses in her story when she mentions his name and downs her shot, quickly refilling the small glass before she continues. “Anyway, the day after my 8th birthday we went for a training ride and my dad gave his mobile so that if we got a flat tire or something we could call, but my parents weren’t really worried. Dan was 14, the same age as my sister, so they figured I would be fine with him. And everything was fine for about an hour and this car just came out of nowhere and swerved onto our side of the road.”

Mia paused again to take another shot, while Leighton and Ruby stared at her, eyes wide with shock.

“Umm… Yeah, so this car was driving straight at us and Dan just pushed me off my bike and into the ditch on the side of the road and the car hit him straight on. Then it just drove off and I ran over to him and I called an ambulance and my parents. They called Daniels’ parents and they all met us at the hospital. Once we got there a doctor told us that Daniel was dead and then the police wanted to talk to me. They ended up finding the guy, so we had to go to a trial and I found out that if CPR had been administered before the ambulance arrived, then he could have survived, but I was just a kid so no one ever taught me. So dad decided to set up a first aid course for kids through the local St John’s and everyone involved with cycling club learned CPR for free. But I guess I always felt guilty that I couldn’t save my friend.”

Leighton and Ruby simply stared at her as she threw back another shot and swayed in her seat.

“Holy fuck!” Ruby declared.

“Yeah,” Mia agreed with a self-deprecating chuckle and another drunken sway.

A few hours and another bottle of vodka later, all three girls are passed out on the sofa’s in Ruby’s living room, too drunk to make it upstairs to the bedrooms.


	15. ~WINTER 2015 [PART 5]~

Mia blinks against the soft light filtering through the curtains. She slowly takes in her surroundings, disoriented and hungover, taking a moment to work out where she is. When her eyes fall on her two sleeping friends, the events of the previous night slowly come back to her and she feels a heavy weight settle in her chest.

She quietly clambers off the sofa and tip toes out into the hallway to find her duffle bag still on the floor, where she had dropped it the night before, next to the front door. She rifles around in it for a few minutes, pulling out fresh clothes and then heads to the nearby bathroom. Once she’s changed, she returns to the duffle in search of a clean pair of socks, but instead her hand freezes when her fingers close around something cold, solid and smooth. She pulls her hand back from the depths of the bag and stares at the men’s ring resting in the palm of her hand, the three bands of stainless steel glinting in the soft dawn light that fills the hallway with a warmth that Mia can no longer feel.

Mia is only aware that she has begun to cry when she feels Ruby kneel beside her and pull her in close for a tight hug.

“Was that his?” she asks Mia gently.

“Yeah,” Mia answers, “he loved this ring, but I borrowed it for a costume a few years ago and I never gave it back.”

Ruby doesn’t say anything else and instead leads Mia into the kitchen, where she starts to throw together breakfast. Leighton joins them shortly after, when the smell of bacon starts to waft through the house. They eat quietly and it’s mid-morning before anyone speaks again.

“I’m guessing we’re skipping football today?” Ruby asks as they wash and dry their breakfast dishes.

“No, I wanna go,” Mia replies. “I wanna get out of my head for a while.”

“If you’re sure,” Ruby agrees hesitantly and Leighton nods in agreement.

A few hours later the trio are taking their seats in the small stadium as the players make their way out onto the field. Mia welcomes the distraction and happily lets the game control her focus for the next two hours as she lets the energy of the crowd around her, draw her in.

Her peace is quickly shattered, however, when her phone chimes as the girls are making their way to a nearby pub for dinner.

**Scott: Tried calling Helen and Glenn but not getting an answer. Nate’s not picking up either so Liz and I are gonna drive up to Paris tomorrow and catch a flight back home. We fly out just after 2. We should get to Melbourne Tuesday morning and then we’ll grab a connecting flight. Call you when we get there.**

“…You ok? Leighton asks when Mia places her phone down on the table as they sit down.

“Scott and Liz are flying home tomorrow,” Mia says in lieu of an explanation.

The girls nod across the table between them and offer sympathetic smiles.

They order their food shortly after and eat in silence before heading their separate ways.

“Call if you need anything Mia,” Leighton tells Mia at the tube station.

“I will,” Mia promises before turning and walking away.

xXx

When Mia wakes on Sunday morning, she groans and pulls her duvet up over her head, willing herself to fall back asleep. The more awake she becomes, the more her dream slips away from her and she mentally fights to keep hold of it. Already Tyler’s smile is fading from behind her eyelids and tears begin to roll down her cheeks silently as she realises that with time she will forget the way his voice sounds, or the smell of his after shave.

She remains in bed for another hour, wallowing in her grief, wrapped up in the warmth of her duvet like a burrito. She is abruptly pulled into reality by her phone ringing loudly from her bedside table. She grabs it and for a moment her heart lifts when she sees Tyler’s’ name, but when she answers it’s Glenn on the other end and she bitterly reminds herself that the home number is saved under Tyler’s contact.

“Hello Amelia,” Glenn greets solemnly, “How are you doing?”

“I’m hanging in their Glenn,” Mia admits sadly. “How are you and the family?”

“We’re doing the best we can I guess. I just wanted to let you know that we set the date of the funeral for Friday and Helen and I were hoping you might right a eulogy for him.”

Mia remains silent for a moment before finally replying.

“Are you sure? I mean, surely there’s someone better suited to the job.”

“It would mean a lot, Mia. You knew him best,” Glenn replies, and Mia nervously accepts and after a quick farewell she ends the call.

As silence returns to the room, tears begin to flow down her face and she stays there, buried under the blankets until eventually her eyes dry and she reluctantly pulls her phone out again and prepares to make a call she dreads.

When her mum’s face fills her phone screen she tries to smile, but she’s pretty sure it looks more like a pained grimace and Mary’s expression instantly hardens in response to her daughters greeting.

“Mia, what’s wrong sweetheart?”

“Mum,” Mia begins, “Mum, Tyler died on Friday.”

Mary is silent as she takes in her daughters words.

“What happened?” she finally asks.

“He killed himself,” Mia says, tears reforming in the corners of her eyes. “He sent his suicide note to me.”

“Oh, Mia. Are you doing ok?” Mary asks gently.

“No, but I think I will be,” Mia replies honestly. “Anyway I need a favour.”

“Of course baby,” Mary replies, “Anything you need.”

“Could you…?” Mia asks, “Do you think you could maybe go to the funeral on Friday? I know dad hates him, but…”

“Absolutely. We will be there. We’ll drive over Thursday night and I’ll take Friday off work,” Mary promises.

“Thanks mum. I’ll call you later.”

“I love you Amelia.”

xXx

not long after speaking with her mum, Mia boots up her laptop and opens up Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. it takes her a while, but not as long as she thought it would to guess all of Tyler’s passwords and access his accounts. She sits, staring at the screen, unsure what to do now, unsure why she tried this in the first place.

She pulls out her phone after a few minutes and sends a text to Glenn.

**Mia: Hi, I’m not sure whether you want to delete his accounts or just post and let people know what happened **but I worked out Tyler’s account details. They all use the same email address; TMCart@hotmail.com and the passwords are Hamish10 for Facebook, AmeCarter15 for Twitter and Instagram.**  
**

The reply comes back quickly.

**Glenn: Thanks Amelia. Helen and I will pull them down soon. We appreciate the help.**


	16. ~WINTER 2015 [PART 6]~

Mia sits in her room after work Monday evening, staring at her laptop and the blank word document filling the screen. She has yet to type a single word since she spoke with Glenn on the phone the day before.

Eventually she huffs a deep sigh and begins to type, Tyler’s ring glinting where it sits on the thumb of her right hand.

 **Glenn and Helen asked if I wanted to write something down to be read out today and I sat staring at a blank screen on my laptop for hours before I realized what I wanted to say and it's not something that’s easy for me to put into words but I will try my best.**  
Tyler and I have had a remarkable life together and it's a story that I don't want to die with us. It's a story I want to share with everyone who knew him and loved him.  
  
I first met Tyler a little over 12 years ago and we were instant best friends. As we grew up our friendship strengthened into something truly life changing, but this was back before every preteen had a mobile so at first we would write letters to each other. We begged our parents to let us use the house phones to call on weekends and every few months we would see each other at races. As time passed our contact went electronic. Back in those days we used MSN messenger and MySpace and we spent almost every school holidays staying at each other's houses. I can't remember how many times dad drove me the 8 hours to Adelaide so I could spend a week hanging out with Tyler and Scott. Helen and Glenn were amazing and were always happy to let us stay with them, just as we happily let them stay with us when it was Scott and Tyler's turn to make the drive to my house.   
As we got older we started to fly back and forth unaccompanied and we often joked about feeling like VIPs as the flight attendants always walked us on to and off of the plane. We were 13 or 14 at the time, so naturally we thought this was how rock stars were treated. 

**Tyler had been such an enormous part of my life that it seemed only natural when we started dating 5 years ago and no one was surprised, except maybe Scott and myself. It seemed like a given from the moment we met. We made the long distance work while we were both in school and during year 12 I lost count of the amount of times Tyler would fly to Melbourne for the weekend just to sit with me in the hospital when I was sick.**  
  
Our relationship was far from perfect and like any high school romance, we had our problems. We broke up for a few weeks when I moved to Geelong for uni. It seems like the silliest fight now, but Tyler was mad that I'd decided not to go to UniSA and I was mad that he was mad. It didn't last long and we went back to being happily and stupidly in love with each other. A few months later Tyler, Scott, Liz, Justin and the rest of the team went to the Olympics and I've never been more proud than I was at the airport waving the team off and then sitting at home watching them represent our country. When he got back he proposed and I never hesitated to say yes. We both lost sleep that night over how to tell our parents that we were engaged at 18 and 19, but we shouldn't have worried because they were all more excited than I think we were.   
We had an amazing life together but those of you who know us, know that we lost our chance at a happy ever after long before Tyler died. The last year has been hard, but I never stopped loving Tyler. I thought I had but how do you stop something that's part of who you are? I could no sooner stop loving Tyler than I could forget how to breathe. I feel privileged to have loved Tyler and to have been loved by Tyler. It's not the big things we didn't get to do but the little things I'll miss. In the last few days I haven't found myself wishing for our wedding day or buying a house together. I've been wishing just to get on our bikes and go for a ride out through the Adelaide hills on a sunny day or drive out to the res and spend an afternoon swimming around or sunbathing on the banks.   
  
He told me the day he died that he didn't want me to carry his ghost with me. I can't help but laugh at that because how can I not? He's always going to be with me. He'll always be a part of my life. I don't have any photos of us together anymore. I got rid of almost everything that reminded me of him months ago when I was hurt and angry. Now all I have are my memories and for those I am greatful. My memories of Tyler will stay with me and I will cherish every happy moment we shared together.   
  
We romanticize the dead. We forget or ignore the bad and emphasize the good and I know I'm already doing that. I know that I'm already erasing the past year. I'm trying to pretend that everything between us didn't fall apart and maybe that's unhealthy but it makes the pain a little less so how can it really be such a bad thing?  
  
Ty will be remembered by hundreds as a talented cyclist, dead long before his time, but that's not the Tyler I'll remember.   
I'll remember the Ty who once helped me convince Scott that he could totally jump off the roof onto the trampoline and land a double backflip, or the Tyler that drove me from Adelaide to Geelong in the middle of the night because my housemate called to tell me that our share house had been broken into.   
Or the Tyler who would have flowers delivered to me on random days and the card would just have some really corny pun on it.   
He was sweet and romantic and completely unpredictable and that's what I loved most about him. He had such potential and his future was full of possibilities and it hurts more than I can explain that he couldn't see himself the way I do. He asked me not to blame myself for his choices but I can't help but feel responsible because I could have been around to reminded him of his possibilities. I could have reminded him that he had parents who adored him and siblings who loved him, friends who were proud of him and a beautiful baby nephew that would have idolized him. He had so much to live for and now the rest of us are left behind to live our lives the best we can without him and for him.   
  
Ty used to love making fun of me for being a geek so it seems only right to take one last dig at him and quote something from one of my many fandoms.   
"We meet people and fall in love. And when we part they leave marks for us to remember them by. Our lovers sculpt us. They define us. For better or worse. Like a pinball we slam into them and rebound in a different direction. Propelled by the contact. And after the parting we might be scarred, but stronger"  
  
Tyler collided with my life but he didn't so much change me as form the woman I've become. He was such a central part of my life and I will never fully be healed again from the scars he has left.   
  
A character in a book I once read said that "it doesn't seem right to say goodbye" and he was right, and I won't. I can't. I'll see you then Tyler. I'll see you then because love is now mingled with grief and it grows perhaps the greater. May peace find you now, and time heal those of us you have left behind.   
  


**I’d give everything I have for one more day; one more day to laugh with him, to smile with him or even to fight with him. What I wouldn’t give for one more moment with him. No matter what that moment held, it would be enough to just be with him.**

**  
I love you Tyler Mason Carter. **

**I will always love you.**

AS she finishes typing, Mia sits in silence, eyes glued to those final words.

It’s dark outside and she glances at the clock she is shocked to find that it is just after midnight which means that she has been writing and editing for well over 4 hours.

She quickly opens a new email and attaches the word document.

**Glenn, I hope that this is ok. Sending all my love to you and Helen and Nathan.**

She hits send, closes her laptop, pulls the covers over her and tries to fall asleep.

xXx

The day after Mia finishes writing Tyler’s eulogy she heads out for dinner with Ruby and Leighton. She’s not feeling all that sociable but she knows she can’t sit at home crying for the rest of her life. The atmosphere is strained around the table. Her friends don’t know what to do or say. They don’t want to mention it encase it hurts too much but it feels callous to laugh and joke like nothing has changed.

It’s only when Ruby returns from the bar that Leighton breaches the topic.

“So I’m not sure how to say this but I noticed this account using Tyler’s name and it’s been posting all week,” she says hesitantly.

“What?” Mia stammers, taking Leightons phone when it’s offered to her and staring in shocked confusion as she scrolls through the Facebook page. “I don’t understand,” she mumbles, “I helped his parents delete his accounts yesterday but this is identical. It’s like someone cloned all his posts and photos or something. And it’s called Tyler Mason. He never used his full name. I don’t understand. Why would somebody do this? Why would they pretend to be him?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to upset you, I just thought you should know so you could do something about it,” Leighton explained.

“How did you find this?” Mia asks suddenly, surprising both girls. Leighton glances at Ruby, looking for help before replying.

“I just searched his name and it came up,” Leighton explains.

“But why did you search him?”

“To find out what’s happening.”

“Then ask me,” Mia snaps, “I won’t break if you mention him. If you have questions just ask. Don’t go behind my back like your checking up on me. It feels like you don’t trust me or you think I’m making this up or something.”

There is silence for a moment as the three girls stare at each other awkwardly.

“I’m sorry,” Mia mumbles, “I didn’t mean that. It’s just, you didn’t know him and I spent our entire relationship sharing him with people who acted like they knew him just because they were Facebook friends or saw him race a few times.”

“No, I’m sorry Mia,” Leighton replies, “That didn’t even occur to me. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Mia admits.


	17. ~WINTER 2015 [PART 7]~

He’s alive,” Scott announces, when Mia answers her phone Wednesday morning.

She is stunned by his words, unable to speak and barely able to breathe as she attempts to process Scott’s announcement. She’s vaguely aware of a woman yelling in the background and thinks it may be Lizzie, but the bulk of her thoughts are working like quicksand.

“What?” is all she manages when she finally remembers how to speak.

“He’s alive,” Scott repeats, “We just got home and he answered the door.”

“But how?” Mia chokes, tears forming in her eyes, “How is he possibly alive? Glenn told me…”

“Glenn’s not here, Mia,” Scott replies solemnly, “I don’t know what’s happening but Glenn and Helen aren’t here, they haven’t been for a week or two.”

Mia is silent as she starts to cry. She’s a storm of emotions, warring against each other. She feels overwhelming joy that he’s still alive, confusion over how any of this is all possible and anger that she has been put through this whole situation. It’s through the silence that she focuses on the raised voices in the background.

“How dare you do this, you selfish little fucktard! Like, what the fuck was your plan Tyler? Do you have any idea what you’ve put us through?”

As Liz continues to scream at her brother, Mia can hear the tears thickening her voice and feel the pain she knows her friend is experiencing. Just as Mia is about to speak again she hears something that freezes her voice in her throat.

“Sis, please, let me explain,” Tyler begs.

As she hears his voice over the phone Mia feels her heart break. It’s not a metaphor or a figure of speech, but a physical wound. She feels the breath rip from lungs and the sharp stabbing agony as if a blade had pierced her chest. She gasps for breath as her legs give out below her and she falls to the floor, phone clutched desperately to her ear in an attempt to hear even one more word. Her tears turn to heavy sobs and her voice is choked and barely more than a whisper, but somehow Scott hears her.

“Tyler...?”

“Mia do you want to talk to him?” Scott asks her gently.

As the words hit her, she hears silence fall on the other end of the phone as they all wait on her answer.

“I…” Mia tries, swallowing against the lump in her throat before trying again, “I can’t.”

She hangs up, dropping the phone to the floor as she wraps her arms around herself and lays on the ground sobbing heavily and attempting to hold herself together, even as she feels everything fall apart.

xXx

Hours later, as Mia’s breathing settles back into a steady rhythm, she pulls her phone back towards her and opens a group message to Ruby and Leighton. She types quickly in the darkness.

**Mia: I don’t really know how or why but Tyler is alive and I don’t know what I’m feeling or how I’m doing.**

As she waits for the girls to process her news, Mia picks herself up off the floor, throws herself into bed and wraps herself up in her duvet.

Ruby’s message is the first to light up her screen.

**Ruby: HOLY FUCK! What the shit? Fucking how?**

Before Mia can compile a reply Leighton’s message appears on her screen beneath Ruby’s.

**Leighton: What do you need?**

**Mia: I don’t really know much, but Scott and Liz just got back to Aus and when they went to the house, Tyler answered the door. I guess it was all some kind of joke or something. Payback maybe? I honestly have no idea.**

**Ruby: As hard as it is you should try to get some sleep and hopefully you’ll have more information in the morning.**

**Mia: Yeah, I’m sure you’re right. Talk tomorrow.**

Mia lies awake in the darkness for hours, unable to sleep and unwilling to think.

xXx

 “Hey Leighton,” Mia says as the two girls take their seats among the gathering crowd in the O2 arena. “Don’t judge me if I cry tonight, ok?”

It’s been a little over a week since she found out that Tyler is still alive and she had considered not coming to the concert tonight, until Leighton had reminded her how much she loves these two bands and how excited she has been since she brought these tickets a few months ago.

“These were our favourite bands,” she explains, “and every time I’ve seen them live, it’s been with Ty. I just know this will be hard tonight.”

The first band took to the stage half an hour later and Mia and Leighton dance and scream their way through the entire set along with the rest of the arena around them. 25 minutes into the second bands set the sound of a simple rift on a single guitar fills the arena. And as the familiar voice of the lead singer joins in Mia reaches over and grabs hold of Leighton’s hand. Her friend gives a gentle squeeze in response and it’s when the song reaches the chorus that the tears begin to flow.

_“What do I do when I am so in love with you? I forgot what I wanted to say.”_

Mia sings along with the crowd.

_“What do I do when you won’t change your ways? It’s time, it’s time.”_

She pours all the pain and anger of the past 6 weeks into her voice as she screams the words that represent everything she feels in that moment.

_“If I just saved you, you could save me too. If I just saved you, then you could save, yeah you could save me too.”_

__Half an hour later, when the concert ends, both girls let the crowd push them outside towards the tube station and as they wait on the platform Leighton turns to Mia.

“You wanna talk about it or do you want me to shut up?” she asks and waits patiently as Mia remains silent.

“I just still don’t understand,” she says after a while. “I don’t understand how he could put me through that and I think I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life hating him.”

Leighton doesn’t attempt to reply as Mia breathes heavily, breath misting in the cold night air. He was dead and I grieved and I allowed myself to admit that I still love him but now I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with that. I mean yeah, I love him, but I want nothing to do with him, so now what? How do I forget that? I don’t want to spend the rest of my life missing him. I mean really, who fakes their own suicide, impersonates their father while he’s out of the country and plans a sham funeral in an attempt to prove to their ex that said ex is still in love with them? That’s just fucking insane, right?”

Leighton doesn’t reply, there’s nothing really to say so instead she hugs her friend and they wait in silence until their tube arrives.

xXx

A month after Tyler’s supposed death, Mia is sitting in a pub with the Nerdfighters and she’s scrolling through her Facebook newsfeed when she freezes, there on the screen is a photo of Tyler. He’s laughing and smiling and hits her right in the chest like a truck.

Jake, who’s sitting next to her, notices her body tense up and flashes a glance at her phone to see the photo of Tyler.

“Who’s that?” he asks.

“My ex-fiance, ex-best friend, my ex-everything really,” Mia replies.

“Oh, him,” Jake says with a sympathetic look, “Wanna talk about it?”

“No,” Mia responds, “Yes. I don’t know, it’s just that he was this constant fixture in my life for 12 years and now I’m alone… Well not alone really, I have all you amazing people around me. But it’s just not quite the same, you know? How do you move on from someone who made you who you are? Someone who is part of every memory you have over the past decade?”

“I don’t know,” Jake admits, “I guess you just pretend you’re ok and that it doesn’t hurt, and then eventually, one day you wake up and find that you are ok.”  
  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this all the way to the end. This is only a first draft of the story so i would greatly appreciate any input: things you liked or didn't like, spelling or grammatical errors... anything


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